Guardian Angel
by artychick7
Summary: When Leo finds a battered leather book in the sewer during a morning run, he hardly expects it to be the journal of a distraught teenager that might need his help to stay alive. Can he help her and take care of his adjusting brothers?
1. Prologue

**A/N: Hello friends! I have FINALLY returned to my home on ff. I'm so excited to start this up again and I am going to start working on three more stories hopefully in the near future! Enjoy the new and improved….. Guardian Angel.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own TMNT**

_January 17, 2011_

_Today was hell…again. I just can't do this anymore. This stupid divorce has taken over a year and it's still not over! We are going to lose the apartment and then me and mom will end up on the streets cuz of the stupid attorney fees on top of bills. It's a good thing Connor already moved out other wise we'd be homeless already. James is being an a-hole. He is lying to the courts about everything and trying to squeeze everything out of us. He also wants me half of the time. Well, that's not happenin'. I hate him enough that I have come close to picking up a knife and shoving it through his black heart. I quit work today, I can't handle it anymore. Lisa is a jerk. And as if being under so much stress at home and getting yelled at at work wasn't enough, that brat I used to call my best friend is spreading rumors about me at school. So now I am jobless, friendless, and on the edge of becoming homeless. FML._

Leo read over the crumpled page again with a soft growl in his chest. The words stirred several emotions under his plastron, but mainly frustration. Yeah, it sounded like this girl had it rough, but he wanted to smack her upside the head and tell her to live in a sewer for ten years, then she could complain. He sighed and folded it up again, his anger melting away, and placed the note in his belt.

He had found the page torn out, but resting inside the cover of a battered journal that had made its way into the sewers. He had stumbled, literally stumbled, upon it during his early morning jog yesterday. Curiosity had taken over and he had looked inside. Realizing it was a journal, he had quickly closed the cover, his strict sense of honor panicking him to not invade someone else's privacy. He thought about dropping it where he had found it, but noticed that a single page, the page he now had at his hip, had fallen out and was soaking up filthy sewer water. He hastily rescued it, and couldn't help but reading the obviously distressed writing. He hadn't read anything else in the journal since then, though his curiosity had been tested. He had made the excuse of needing to get some fresh air tonight so he could look for an address or a name without rising suspicion from his brothers. The book nestled snuggly between his sheaths and his shell so they wouldn't see it. All of his brothers, especially Mikey, had the annoying habit of admiring and obsessing over any new object Leo carried around since his return from Central America. Even the crumpled leaves and sticks that had accidentally made their way into Leo's bag had mysteriously disappeared from his trashcan like they were prizes. It had taken some convincing for them to let him go out alone. Raph had been most reluctant, but finally gave in when Leo promised not to go far.

And he hadn't. He found a quiet, shadowed rooftop a few blocks from the nearest manhole to their home to sit and think. The night was still young, with the last light of the sun fading slowly away. He had been sitting here for nearly an hour, battling with himself whether he should open the cover and try to find the owner of the worn leather book, or just leave it in a dumpster somewhere. He had found it in the sewer after all. Perhaps the owner had thrown it away. Leo rubbed a large green thumb over the soft cover again, as he had done countless times in the last few minutes. His thoughts were turning towards opening it and seeing what was inside before deciding whether it was worth returning or not. He knew it was silly to fret over opening a journal, but his father had taught him to respect privacy, and all four of the ninja master's sons knew how personal a journal could be. Mikey had stumbled upon April's some time ago and showed his brothers out of fun. The four had been awkward around April for the next two weeks until she finally made them spill. April and the four teenagers had been bright red from embarrassment. April had promptly hidden it better than beneath her socks, but there was no need. Mikey and none of the others had gone into her bedroom again. He chuckled at the now amusing memory. He shook his head and closed his eyes before opening the book delicately, holding it away from himself as if it would bite him. Assured that it wasn't booby-trapped, he pulled it close and looked at the first page cautiously, tensed to slam it closed if any certain words popped up at him.

_This is the property of:_

_Brenna Jean Hall_

Not recognizing the name, he cautiously flipped to the next page, and he knew his eyes widened in surprise. The page was covered in writing, but it was smeared and unreadable. Over the smudges was a rough sketch of what looked like a crying fairy. Each tiny detail was perfect; he could make out tiny fibers on the seemingly transparent wings emerging from her back. The face took his breath away. Entranced with the haunting look of the fairy, he couldn't bring himself to turn the page. He noticed a line of writing in the corner that he could just make out.

_And so a delicate life,_

_Torn by strife._

The rest of the poem was blurred and scribbled out, but he didn't need to read the rest of it. He turned back to the cover page and sighed in relief. In the lower left hand corner sat tiny letters depicting an address. He read over it twice to make sure before standing up and setting off in the direction the address sent him.


	2. Your Friendly Neighborhood Ninja

**A/N: One bad word. I'm sorry!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own TMNT**

Leo found it easy to remain hidden in the shadows despite passing through a richer part of town. The buildings were taller and newer than the usual parts of the city they patrolled in. It was obvious this girl and her family were well off. He scoffed again, knowing the girl had nothing really vital to her well being to complain about.

_Either that or she didn't write down everything… _his reasoning came through._ Maybe something else is happening that she was too scared to write about, or that she wants to forget. Don has mentioned something about how people can forget or suppress memories that are painful to them_. He leapt across a brightly lit intersection and glanced at the street sign. _Two blocks to go._ Leo was amazed at how clean and well kept everything looked. There were no trashed alleyways, no brick wall obscured by crude graffiti, no signs of gang crime. He felt slightly out of place and disoriented, not having familiar crumbling, crude buildings surrounding him.

He was slightly out of breath as he took a final leap onto a particularly expensive-looking apartment building. Granite trim and sculpting decorated the sides of the building, but the roof appeared no different than that of a warehouse. He carefully removed the journal from his back and opened the front cover, checking for an apartment number. _Apartment #14C. _Leo growled in frustration. He had no clue what the letter or number meant, or where the apartment was. He considered calling April, knowing she would have a better chance at figuring it out than him since he had never lived in an apartment. But he decided against it, knowing she would be curious and bug him about it until he caved. Suddenly, having an idea, Leo sprang to the edge of the roof and counted the stories of the windows on the taller building next to the one he was standing on. He was eye level with the fifteenth story of windows, meaning there were fourteen floors on the building below him. He decided it was worth a shot and delicately lowered himself to the dark fire escape clinging to the side of the building and glanced inside the glowing window. His eyes took a moment to adjust to the sudden light, but he quickly determined he was looking into a hallway. He could see a metallic pair of doors, probably an elevator, and a plain white door five feet to the left, a plaque displayed above the eye hole. _14A._ Leo smirked, proud that he had figured it out without the help of his brainy brother. He carefully scaled the building, clinging to the granite as he moved to the left, farther down the hallway. Every five feet or so was another patch of light. Twenty feet from the fire escape laid the door to 14B. Leo skittered to nearly the edge of the building before he could see the door to 14C. He clambered over the corner of the building, and was relieved to find a small balcony jutting out from the side of the building. He released his precarious hold on the vertical building and lightly perched on the railing of the balcony. The glass doors and windows nearest him were dark, but a dim light radiated from a window just beyond reach of the balcony. Leo moved towards it, holding onto the granite railing as he leaned towards the window, one foot barely gripping a small ledge on the side of the building beneath the window. Dark purple shades dimmed the light, but a single sliver of brightness touched his skin as he gazed inside.

The room was uninhabited at the moment, but it was obvious that someone had been there recently. The room was slightly bigger than Leo's own room, but looked more crowded with all of the random objects littering the floor. It reminded him slightly of Mikey's room, except for the obvious femininity. A small, padded bench sat under the window, variously patterned pillows rising high enough to lean against the window pane. A large bed, with a covering matching the curtains Leo was hiding behind, sat across the room, with a pale white rocking chair sitting next to it. A large black desk, and a smaller drawing desk beside it, sat against the wall, close to the door. On the wall opposite of the entrance to the room, a large television sat on a dark chest. A large off-white couch faced it, but it seemed too short. Leo realized that half of the room was a step lower than the rest of the room, separating it. Various posters, pictures, and shelves stuffed with books littered the pale walls and a large, circular zebra-print rug covered the middle of the floor.

_This girl has nothing to complain about, _Leo internally growled. This brat had a bed, a room, and obviously a good amount of money to have such a nice apartment. She obviously had no idea how much worse things could be. Leo had a feeling if Raph were here, he would make sure she learned a taste of it.

_The old Raph would have anyways…._

A flash of light to his right made Leo turn, his free hand reaching to withdraw his weapon. The two windows in the next room over were now glowing dimly, and Leo heard a door slam. Angry voices barely reached his ears before the door to the room he was watching swung open and a young girl stepped into the room, quickly slamming the door behind her and leaning against it.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid," she mumbled to herself. Leo realized the window was slightly cracked open. "Die in hell!" she screamed over her shoulder.

A harsh laugh bit through the air before a man screamed a list of profanities that even Casey would have balked at. Leo winced, but caught the name "Brenna" in between vicious insults to the girl. The man stopped, and Leo heard his heavy footsteps stumbling away. _Drunk, _Leo thought before turning his attention back to the girl. He saw her bottom lip quiver and her shoulders began to shake before she fiercely wrapped her arms around herself and darted to the bed. She fell onto her stomach, burying her face in her arms. Leo heard her soft sobs from the window, and fought the anger twisting in his gut.

_Maybe things are worse than I thought. I ought to go give that son of a bitch a lesson. No one should be talking to anyone that way. Why, I oughta …._ The thoughts trailed away in his head. He could do nothing. The man had not physically hurt the girl, so he could not step in, yet.

The girl's sobs soon quieted and Leo figured she was asleep. Before he could change his mind, he gently pried the windows open enough for him to get in and lightly stepped into the room. When the girl didn't move, he glided to the desk and found what he was looking for. Feeling anxious about being in a human home with a drunk man in the next room over, Leo hopped outside once more and wrote a hasty note on a scrap of paper he had found.

_I hope you didn't throw this away on purpose. I only saw the first page, but just that one page was worth the trouble of returning this to you. You are very talented._

Leo considered signing it _–your friendly neighborhood ninja_, but decided it was something only Mikey would do and left it anonymous. He folded the paper and tucked it into the front cover of the beaten journal, letting a corner show so she would see it before gently lying it on the window seat and closing the windows. Satisfied and wanting to go home, Leo headed for the nearest manhole.


	3. Crooked Smiles and Curly Ribbons

**A/N: Gonna try and re-update every other day. Hope you will stick around for the new stuff which is gonna be UH mazing**

**Disclaimer: I do not own TMNT**

"Yo, Leo, where you been?" Raph's gruff voice rumbled through the lair as the door grinded shut behind him.

"Yeah dude, you've been gone, like, four hours. You pulled a Raphie." Mikey laughed and ducked as his red banded brother swung an arm at his head. They had both been sitting on the couch when he walked in, but Mikey stood up and indiscreetly backed away from his normally temperamental older brother, but when Raph dismissed him, Mikey pulled a confused face.

"I needed some air." Leo said casually, acting as if nothing was happening. "Where's Don?" He asked as he moved away, exposing his youngest brother. Raph didn't move, but Mikey kept a wary eye on him.

"The caveman is in his den," Mikey cried as Raph suddenly lunged at him, sending him sprinting towards the dojo. Raph took two steps, then stopped and turned back to Leo.

"You okay?" he asked softly, stepping up to his brother and touching his arm gently. Leo gave him a soft smile, admiring how much Raph had changed since their last adventure at Winter Corp. Raph had become more patient and understanding, especially with Leonardo, though that had been tested in the past few days. But Leo could still see Raph holding something in. Leo had thought it best to give Raph some time. They all had to adjust to being together again, and with everything that had happened during Leo's absence and since his arrival, they all had some injuries that needed time to heal. But it was going on five weeks now, and Raph and Leo had supposedly forgiven each other, but Raph was still not back to his old hotheaded self. Leo was starting to get worried.

"I'm fine Raph."

"You know we don't like you goin' off on yer own. Will ya let someone go wit ya next time?"

Leo saw the genuine concern in Raphael's amber eyes, and felt something like a punch in the gut. Raph had been worrying. That's the last thing Leo wanted. Raph needed to get back to normal, not be worrying and fretting about Leo. Raph didn't handle worrying very well, and with everyone getting used to each other again, the last thing Leo wanted was everyone freaking out over him being gone too long.

"Yeah, I will Raph. Are you okay?" Raph's shoulders were slightly hunched and he was nervously shifting from foot to foot, if only barely.

"Yeah, I'm fine." He said as he turned and walked towards the dojo. Leo heard him mumble something under his breath, but he didn't quite catch it. Mikey had peeped his out of the door, looking for his older brother, but spun back inside when Raph growled and leapt towards him.

Leo sighed and shook his head, a smile on his lips. _At least he will still chase Mikey, even if he is more gentle. It's a start._ He grabbed a water bottle from the fridge before approaching the lab, lightly tapping on the thick, noise proof door.

"Mikey, go away. I already told you that I can't have you messin'…" Don opened the door swiftly, a pair of glasses resting on the bridge of his beak, magnifying his eyes. Leo held back a laugh. "Oh, Leo. You're back…." Don stepped back, stepping aside so his brother could walk in.

"Whatcha doin' Donnie?" Leo asked curiously, spotting a large, box-shaped, plastic-looking thing sitting on his brother's desk. He noticed various shapes, sizes, and colors of plastic and metal laying across the counter, strewn about carelessly, and the old Playstation that had somehow gotten in between the youngest of the family and Raph's fist a few years ago was laying on the table. It looked like it had been gutted, leaving only a black, plastic shell.

"Uh, it's kinda a surprise for Mikey. For his birthday." He said sheepishly, wringing his hands together.

"Mikey changed the date again? I thought he had picked some time in June permanently." Leo had to chuckle. Since none of them knew their official birthdays, as young children Splinter had let them choose a date to be celebrated as their own. Over the years, the three oldest had kept the dates they had chosen as children. But Mike had found it to boring and constantly changed his "birthday".

"Yeah, he said he wants it to be the twentieth, because that's how old he will be, although he still has the mentality of a thirteen year old."

Leo smiled before turning his attention back to the contraption on the desk. "What is it?" Leo asked, not daring to touch his brother's newest project, but staring intently at the large box. When Don was silent for a few moments, he looked up at his brother. "I'm not gonna tell, Don…"

"I know, I know. I don't even really know what it is either." Leo looked at him, and eye ridge raised in question. "It's hopefully going to be a new game system that can run games designed for any system, but it isn't cooperating with me." Don said, frustrated.

Leo nearly laughed at the pout on his younger brother's face. "I'm sure it will come to terms with you eventually."

"Yeah, I know. It's just so stubborn. And having a stir crazy brother griping at me to let him out hasn't been helping."

Leo smiled. "He does seem to be over that cold." Leo said as Don sat down at his desk. Leo sat on the small cot they always kept up for when one of them was injured. "Can he go topside yet, Doc?"

Don smiled. "Probably tomorrow. One more night of rest and he should be one hundred percent. If he stays down here one more day I think we're gonna have to start looking for new furniture."

Leo laughed, imagining the scene, and Don softly smiled, something he hadn't done since Leo had walked in. "Then I guess we'd better let him go on patrol tomorrow, huh?"

"If you still want furniture and three living brothers, yeah. He and Mikey were going at it all while you were gone."

"I can only imagine." Leo sighed.

Silence enveloped the room while Leo watched his younger brother fiddle with a small black square from the Playstation. He noticed his brother's slump and how his shoulders were more tense than usual. His eyes drooped, and his breathing was slow and soft.

"Donnie, when was the last time you slept?" Don opened his mouth to respond, but Leo interrupted. "And fifteen minutes of sitting in your chair with your eyes closed and typing does not count."

Don's face fell. "Day before yesterday, I think." He said softly, looking at the square in his hands.

"Alright, come on." Leo grabbed his brother's arm and he started to protest, but he stifled a yawn with one hand and closed his eyes, allowing Leo to tug him up from his chair. "I know where you hid the key and don't think I won't lock the door if you don't go to bed." His brother glared at him halfheartedly before leading the way out of the lab. Leo shut off the light and closed the door, silently locking it with the key while his brother's back was turned.

Don stopped in the kitchen for a drink of water before calling good night and slowly walking up to his room. Leo waited for the door to click shut before deciding to investigate the current situation in the dojo. He held his breath, fearing the worst, and opened the sliding doors. He had to laugh under his breath at the scene. Raph was pinned against the wall, duct tape holding his wrists to the wall. Raph was struggling to get free, but the tape, along with Mikey's weight against his shell, held him still. Mikey was playing with the tails of Raph's mask, a devious grin plastered on his face.

"Mikey, I swear when I get loose yer gonna be too sore tuh walk for duh rest uh yer life."

"Don't worry, Raphie. I'll let you free. I'm almost done. Just gotta tie one….more….There!" The orange banded turtle exclaimed, backing away and admiring his handiwork. Leo clamped a hand over his mouth to suppress his laughter. Mike had managed to tie Raph's mask tails into a large, bodacious bow with several curled matching red ribbons cascading down his shell. Where Mikey had found those, Leo had no idea, but the image was priceless.

Raph continued to tug against the tape. Mike, sensing his brother would be free any moment, suddenly pulled a camera out of nowhere and several clicks signaled that he now had a new source of blackmail. Raph, not being able to see, but hearing the shutter sounds, ripped his arms from the wall, a newfound fire to his wrath. With his arms free, and his sais now in his grip, Raph spun around, a deadly glare on his face. Mikey started to back away, hands up in surrender.

"Raphie…" Mike squeaked.

"You….are….so…dead…you little twerp!" Raph's voice was menacingly low, and his knuckles were white from gripping his sais.

Leo jumped between them, a hand on Raph's plastron and his shell facing Mike. "Raph, calm down. It was just a joke. Calm down." His brother's body shook in anger underneath his hand.

"Yeah, dude." Mikey said a little louder, now more confident with Leo shielding him. Raph growled and shifted forward, but Leo pushed harder against him.

"Mikey, go to bed. It's late." Mikey hesitated for a bare moment before scurrying out the door. Raph was still tense and shaking, but his face softened slightly when Mike left. "Raph, do you need to fight? Cuz I will. We can spar, like we used to." Leo said softly. His brother tensed at the words, but sighed in defeat and sank to the ground, tucking his sais into his belt. A tang of annoyance gripped Leo, but he pushed it away. He needed to be patient. Raph hadn't sparred with him since the night of their bad fight five weeks ago. Leo sat down next to his brother.

"Nah, I don't wanna fight you, Leo. Will you fix my mask?" He looked up from his gaze at his hands and caught Leo's nod before turning, facing away from his brother. Leo began to untangle the ribbons and untie the bow, but Mikey had made sure to make it a difficult task. Leo found the silence tense, and spoke up, deciding he needed to confront the problem while Raph wasn't in a rage.

"Raph, why won't you fight me?" Leo asked quietly.

Raph tensed. He was silent for a few moments before he sighed and relaxed again. "Cuz m'scared I'll hurt ya 'gain." He mumbled.

Leo sighed, tugging a particularly twisted knot free and dropping several shreds of ribbon to the floor. "Raph, you didn't hurt me. It's in the past. I'm over it; we forgave each other. I just want things to go back to normal."

"Things ain't gonna be like 'fore you left, Leo. We've all changed."

"I know that, but we are a team. That part of us shouldn't change."

"It hasn't, Leo. But, I still see it. I still see myself knockin' ya to da ground and almost killin' ya. I _wanted_ to…" He said like he was disgusted with himself.

Leo was startled by the response. Raph had rarely been this open with him ever. More ribbons fell to the floor. "Do you still want to? It's that why you won't fight me? Cuz your scared you will this time?" Leo sounded harsher than he had intended, and for a moment he was afraid Raph's unnatural peaceful attitude would erupt in anger.

"No, Leo. I realized dat night, afta dose stone creeps gotcha that I didn' wanna lose ya. I need ya, b'leive it er not. I was so scared I wasn' gonna get you back dat night, dat I'd screwed everytin' up and you were gone fer good dis time." Raph sounded as close to tears as Leo had ever heard.

Leo was quiet for a second. "I believe you Raph. I need you too. I'm not gonna leave you guys ever again." Raph didn't respond "There, you wanna keep the ribbons in case you have a bad hair day?" Leo smiled as Raph turned around, holding out a handful of red strings.

"Nah, I'll get Mike back somehow." He snickered and set the pile aside. His momentary mischievous expression disappeared, replaced again with a sincere look of concern. "How can you promise dat, Leo?"

"Promise what?"

"Dat you won' leave us again?"

Leo thought for a moment, then held a straight face as best he could. "Cuz look at how messed up you are? You don't even get mad at me anymore. That's creeping everybody out, especially me."

Raph gave him a crooked smile. "Don't push yer luck. I've come close a couple o' times." Leo stood and offered a hand to his brother, which he grabbed and Leo pulled him to his feet.

"I can honestly say I will be relieved when you have something to be angry with me about. I can't handle a calm, patient Raph." The two walked out of the dojo and towards the stairs.

"Once I get outta dis stupid prison I'll feel better. You have no idea how bad I need something to beat up before I seriously cripple Mikey."

"Oh, I almost forgot. Don says you can come with us on patrol tomorrow if you get a good night's sleep."

Raph face brightened. "Finally!" he sighed.

Leo laughed. "Goodnight, Raph."

"Ain't you comin'?"

"In a minute. I need to talk with Splinter if he is still awake." Leo started walking towards his father's room as Raph started up the stairs.

"'lright. Well, night Leo. And, uh, thanks fer…fer the mask thing." He said sheepishly, and Leo knew he wasn't talking about just untangling his mask.

"No problem Raph. Thanks for talking to me."

Raph nodded, and silently climbed the stairs. Leo heard the soft click as his door shut, and walked up to his father's paper doors, leaning softly against them and listening. He heard no sound, and had just turned before a faint voice reached his ears.

"My son, enter."

Leo gently opened the doors and stepped inside, sliding the doors shut behind him. The smell of the rat, coupled with the flickering candle light brought a calming fog over Leo's senses. He involuntarily relaxed, his tense muscles unwinding and his breathing slowed.

"Kneel, my son." His father's voice was soft, but Leo heard a trace of tension. He panicked, thinking the worst, as he kneeled across from his father on the tatami mat near the bed. A short row of lit candle separated the two mutants. Splinter's eyes were closed, and despite his the slight strain in his voice, Splinter looked completely calm and relaxed. "Where have you been, Leonardo?"

"I went on a run, Father."

"You have been gone for hours, my son. We were all worried about you."

"I had my phone, and I did not go far, Master." Leo ducked his head in shame, knowing that he had worried them.

Splinter opened his eyes, and looked at his oldest son. He had changed much from his training in South America, but not nearly as much as some of his other sons. Where Leo had gained strength and independence, his next oldest son had attained a completely different temperament. Though the change was good for now, Splinter worried that Raphael would snap eventually, as he had in the past when brief changes in his personality had occurred. But perhaps, after his two oldest had fought out their differences and nearly lost one in the process, Raphael had changed permanently.

"Leonardo, you know we do not like you going out on your own." Leo opened his mouth, but Splinter raised a hand and he shut it. "I know you have gained much strength and greater skills from your training, but the enemies here are different, and it is safer for you to be with your brothers. You are a team."

Leo bowed his head. "I know, Father." He said softly.

"Are you still troubled about the effects your absence has had on your brothers Leonardo?" Splinter said after a moment.

"I don't know, Sensei." Leo whispered.

"I have noticed great improvements here at home. I have watched you struggle and use great amounts of energy to regain their trust and reunite your team. I believe your efforts are proving successful. Your relationship with Raphael has improved greatly."

"He still won't spar with me, Master. He is scared that he will hurt me again. How can I lead a team if they think I am fragile and weak?"

"You were not the only one that was injured that night on the rooftop, my son. I believe Raphael has still not forgiven himself for hurting you. His anger blinded his love for you, and he thinks he hurt you. He is scared it will happen again. That is why he has changed so much. He does not realize that you could not attack him. You saw him as your brother that night, yet he saw you as a source of his pain. Revenge clouded his judgment. He does not see you as weak; he sees himself as a danger, which is why he has changed. He is scared of himself, and you have helped him relieve that fear somewhat, but he has a long way to go."

Leo was silent for a moment, taking in all that his father had told him. "Yes, Sensei. How am I to help him, though?"

"I believe what you have been doing is enough. Raphael must do the rest." Splinter closed his eyes, and his son did the same, enjoying each others company as they relaxed their minds, but Splinter still sensed a tension in his oldest son. He opened his eyes again.

"Something else troubles you, Leonardo?"

Leo looked up. "No, Master. It is nothing. I have taken care of it, though it still tugs at my mind."

"What is your source of worry?"

"Nothing of importance, Sensei. I must be tired and letting it get to me. I am going to bed." Leo said softly as he graciously rose to his feet. Splinter stood and walked to his eldest, wrapping his arms around his son.

"Goodnight, Leonardo. It is wonderful to have you home. You have made me very proud." Splinter released him and Leo slid the doors open.

"Goodnight Sensei." He said softly as he closed the paper doors behind him and walked to his room.


	4. Pen Pals

_February 11, 2011_

_God, nothing is getting better. James keeps coming home drunk. I hate having to live with him every other week. It is absolute hell. He just leaves his crap around for me to pick up, and he doesn't even drive me to school, so I have to walk the thirteen frickin' blocks. I'm so sick of school, I missed one freaking day and I have three tests to make up. My grades are in the dumpster cuz I have work. I found another job, and I hate it just as much, but its better pay. I work everyday right after school until 9 at the earliest. Then I have to get up at 3 to do my homework cuz I am too tired by the time I get home, and I'm usually still tired and fall right back asleep. Marissa is trying to act all innocent, like she didn't start telling everyone I am a slut and supposedly she has "proof" and most of my friends have sided with her and those that haven't are too wrapped up in their own troubles, it's like I have no one to turn to. I can't go to mom because she is stressed enough. I feel like I am drowning, and I can't get to the surface for air. At this point it might just be easier to just let everything pull me down and…crap, James is back. Gotta go. _

Brenna threw the cover closed and shoved it under her mattress just as her door slammed open.

"Whatcha doin', babe?" James' speech was slurred, and he smelled like cigarette smoke. His normally tidy clothes were dirty and wrinkled. He had been at the bars.

"Nothing, and I told you not to call me that." Brenna snapped.

James stepped farther into the room, his hands shaking slightly and his feet dragging on the carpet. "Whadif I wantoo?" The harsh stench of alcohol was on his breath.

"I don't care what you want. Leave me alone." Brenna backed up from her father, rolled over the bed and stood on the other side.

"Fine, brat. Stay in this hellhole for all I care." James' face lit with anger, and he clumsily left the room, knocked over her rocking chair. A delusional snicker echoed through Brenna's room as he shut her door. Tears brimmed in her eyes, but she angrily wiped them away and stumbled to her drawing desk. She sat down in the hard chair, but shot back up when a flare of pain shot up her back. Growling and grumbling, she grabbed her sketchbook and padded to the window seat, knocking down a few pillows to make room. She sat down, but something hard poked her leg from beneath a particularly large pillow. She balanced her sketchbook on her lap, and tugged the object out from under her.

A wave of relief and confusion washed over her. Her old leather journal sat in her hand, slightly wrinkly from water damage around the edges, but nearly the same as she had last seen it. A rumpled white corner of paper poked out from the cover page, and she delicately slid it out. Gentle, flowing handwriting covered the small, torn paper.

_I hope you didn't throw this away on purpose. I only saw the first page, but just that one page was worth returning. You are very talented._

There was no signature. Brenna looked at the note skeptically, reading over it again. _What the hell?_ She thought. She _had _purposefully thrown the book that now sat in her hands away nearly a week ago, frustrated with her art and just wanting to hurt something. She had regretted it that night, when she had realized she had thrown away her only outlet. But she had quickly found another notebook and started filling its pages with her anger and hurt.

She wondered who could have found it. She had thrown it down a sewer drain she had passed on the walk home from school. Could it have gotten out to the river and someone found it there? But the water damage to it was only minimal, not like it would have been if it had been in the river. _Hmmmm, _she pondered as she flipped open the cover and flitted through the pages. Immature poems, blurred paintings, and rough sketches filled the yellowed pages. It had taken her barely a month to fill half of the notebook with artistic depictions of her own raging feelings. The last half had been reserved for an actual journal, though she had barely written anything, finding it easier to release her feelings with artwork.

_That has to change, _she barked to herself. No one appreciated her art. Any time she would come home with a new sketch in her journal, she was ignored by her mother, and she didn't dare show James. But she was starving for attention, and she wasn't getting it. No one understood; No one cared.

_Until now,_ she thought. A small thrill of pride clutched her heart when she read over the note again.

_I only saw the first page, but just that one was worth returning. _She hastily flipped to the first page.

A crying sprite sat on an imaginary river bank, her knees tucked under her chin and her arms wrapped around her legs. It was just a sketch she had done in pen one night after James had yelled at her. It was nothing she was particularly proud of, but obviously someone found it beautiful. She unconsciously smiled, rubbing a thumb over the note. She shifted slightly and winced. She had been sitting too long. She hopped up, and scrambled around for some tape. Finally finding some, she delicately taped the note at the top of her mirror on the back of the door. She stared at it proudly. A sudden thought came to her, and she found a paper and pencil and quickly scribbled a note of her own.

Taking a deep breath, she silently opened her door and let her eyes adjust to the sudden darkness. She heard snoring coming from the master bedroom, the door was thankfully closed. Now more confident that she wouldn't run into her father, she padded to the back door and opened it, then stepped out onto the balcony.

The only way someone could have gotten her book to her would have been by the rooftops. There was no way that a stranger could have gotten into her apartment through the front door, and she usually left her window open, providing a way for someone to set something on her windowsill. She glanced at her window from outside. There was a six foot gap from the railing of the deck and the edge of her window. Whoever it had been was acrobatic and very strong. She shook her head, still only half believing that a human had returned her book. She grabbed a loose stone from the small, wimpy patch of dirt in the box they called a garden. She pulled out the note she had written and placed it on the edge of the railing, where no one would see it unless they were trying to get to her window again. Satisfied that the note was secure, she rubbed her arms and walked back inside.


	5. Just Another Night on Patrol

**A/N: Just keep writing, just keep writing, just keep editing, editing, editing.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own TMNT**

_This is such a bad idea. Why the shell am I going through with this? _The thought kept running through his head as he raced along the rooftops. It was nearing dawn, and the first faint grey light was appearing on the horizon. _I should not be doing this!_ He screamed at himself as he leapt across a dark alley and landed gracefully on the next building. His katana rattled slightly in their sheaths, but he could only feel the vibrations against his shell. His breathing and pounding heartbeat in his ears drowned out all other sounds, but he stayed wary, keeping aware in case he picked up a follower.

_Wouldn't that give Raph yet another reason to bust my shell; He's probably following me right now. _At the thought, Leo suddenly stopped and spun, his eyes keen on catching any movement, but there was none. No shadows moved, no sound besides his own fast breathing to give away another's presence. He sensed that no one was near and the streets below were quiet due to the insanely early hour. Double checking that he was alone, he sat on his heels to catch his breath. Shell, he was tired. The workout he and his brothers had received only a few mere hours ago had left him sore and aching, which left him wondering why he hadn't returned home with his brothers. A small cut on his thigh, that he had somehow managed to hide from the probing eyes of Donatello, stung painfully. He brushed at it, annoyed, and his hand pulled away with a familiar sticky substance covering his fingers. He pulled out a spare piece of leather he kept in his belt pouch and began wrapping his leg. He hissed under his breath as he bumped a sliver still imbedded in his skin, shoving it deeper. He delicately removed it, cursing his large fingers and the wooden crates he had crashed into.

"Stupid Purple Dragons," he hissed as he tightly tied the knot, the numb wound throbbing to his heartbeat.

He stood, shaking the tense feeling from his aching limbs, and set off at a light jog in the direction he had been traveling before, memories of the night passing through his mind.

_It had started as just a normal night on patrol. Since the Foot had disappeared, and they hadn't picked up any Purple Dragon activity in over a month, they had decided to check out the old dock warehouses where the gang usually based. Upon arrival on a nearby rooftop, the four brothers had immediately noticed several large semis parked behind a barbed wire fence. Just as Leo signaled for his brothers to move, a small caravan of dark cars appeared and slowly turned into the guarded parking lot. Several burly, darkly clothed men, each with unique interpretations of the signature tattoo on their necks and arms emerged, followed by the familiar bulk of Hun. Leo was shocked when Raph didn't even tense next to him and he looked over. Raph kept his eyes on the scene below. Leo looked over his focused brother to Don, but he just shrugged and looked back down. The old Raph would have been chomping at the bit to pommel the man mass. Leo looked back at Raph and finally caught his eyes, and was happy to see the familiar fire in them. The hint of a smile lingered on Raph's lips as Leo motioned his brothers forward. The four slipped soundlessly into the shadows and reappeared together on the warehouse rooftop. Hun and the men were circled around the back of one truck, out of the sight of the turtles. Donnie put on his night vision goggles, but he still couldn't figure out what was in the back of the van. Hun eventually reappeared, the small parade of his loyal followers trailing behind him. Hun raised an arm, his beady eyes scanning the nearby terrain, and several men broke off, and headed in different directions. Two came towards the building and disappeared, but a groan of metal and soft vibration told the turtles that a door was being opened. The trucks suddenly came to life and slowly pulled forwards, disappearing into the warehouse. Hun walked along behind the last truck, two armed guards flanking him on either side. After they lost sight of the huge man, Leo waited for the sound of the door to close, but it never did. Leo shifted, and all three of his brothers tensed, waiting for orders._

_ "We gonna do somethin', bro?" Mikey's hands instinctively went to his belt, gripping his wooden weapons._

_ Leo smiled, boy had he missed this, the beginning tickling sensation of adrenaline, the knowledge of the oncoming exercise of his skills, all while being surrounded by his brothers, something he had dearly missed while in Central America. He solemnly turned to Raph._

_ "Raph?" Moonlight glinted off of the crest of his brother's head, and tinted his skin grey. His brother's gaze rested on the water, but his head snapped up when Leo spoke._

_ "Hmm?" His amber eyes still held the familiar fire, but it somehow seemed less reckless, which slightly disappointed Leo. He wanted his Raph, his reckless, hotheaded, impatient, angry Raph, not this mild, emotionless body that looked like his brother._

_ "What do you think we should do?" Raph seemed startled at Leo's words._

_ "Why ya askin' me? You duh leadah." He said quietly. _

_ "'Cause I want to know your opinion. Do we take them out or just go home?"_

_ A flash of true anger passed over Raph's face, and Leo internally smirked. Raph sighed and the anger was gone, but that flash of the old Raph strengthened the flicker of hope in Leo. Raph looked back over the water, then back to Leo. A breeze rustled his mask as he spoke. "I say we investigate and see what dey got in d'ose trucks," a grin passed over Leo's face, "Den we decide whatta do."_

_ Raph was silent, tense as if he were waiting for approval, like a puppy. Leo smiled and patted his shoulder. "Sounds like a good plan, Raph."_

_ Raph grinned back at him as the four silently climbed down the side of the crumbling brick building and crept inside. Hun and his gang were once again huddled around the back of one of the trucks, a large wooden crate sat on the floor between them, a foreign symbol stamped on the side of the crate, more stacks with the same symbol still in the trucks. Leo motioned, and Raph and Don split away and slid to the other side of the building. Mikey followed him as he delicately stepped around rusty old machinery and placed himself out of sight, his youngest brother settling in behind him. Leo glanced around, assessing the stability of their position, and could barely make out Raph and Don mirroring his and Mikey's own hiding place across the room. Mikey stifled a cough, and Leo looked back. Mikey pulled a goofy grin after mouthing "dust". Leo just shook his head, an amused smile crossing his face, and looked back to their target._

_ "How many are in each crate, Claw?" Hun's booming voice, though quiet, still rumbled through the silence._

_ "Fif..fifty, Masta Hun, and includin' dee bullets an' stuff." The small man next to Hun had the voice of a mouse to compliment his stature. Leo smirked, _this will be easy._ From the corner of his eye, Leo saw Raph shift. They made eye contact, and soundless words passes between them. They both moved forwards, their younger brother following their lead. Hun pulled out two large guns, and began aiming them, a snicker passing over his face. Leo saw Raph halt, but Leo, being confident in his stealth skills, climbed up the rickety wall, sprang off of it, and landed silently on top of the van in front of Hun. A single naked bulb buzzed near his ear. He nearly laughed, _too easy, _he though as he smashed the bulb with his elbow, the world plunging into pitch black darkness. Startled yelps came from several of the men, followed by a few gunshots, before a sharp snap and a scream._

_ "Are you crazy!" Hun shouted. "You could hit one of us! Get the other crates and guard them with your life. I'll deal with these punks." Shifting feet. Leo's eyes slowly adjusted to the darkness and he found his three brothers all where they had been moments ago._

_ "Come out, you freaks. I know it's you. Too scared to show yourselves?" The burly man had his back to Leo, and stood near enough that all Leo had to do was grip the side of the trailer and lean down to be right next to Hun.._

_ "Scared of the dark, big boy?" Leo whispered into his ear. Hun spun around, his gun rattling off shots, and Leo easily dodged his sloppy aim. The gunfire stopped moments later. Leo crept up to the big man again. "Careful, you might hurt someone." _

_ Hun spun, and nicked Leo's shoulder with the butt of the gun, throwing him off balance. Leo rolled deeper into the shadows, and a familiar hand gripped his arm, helping him to his feet. _

_ "Leo," the voice was barely heard, but he nodded and looked up at Raph. "I take it we're takin' 'em out?" he whispered gruffly, a faint smile and a spark of excitement in his eyes._

_ "Yeah," Leo softly chuckled and looked back out at the scene that was quickly unraveling into chaos. "Have Don and Mikey help you take care of the others, I got Hun."_

_ "You sure?" Raph asked, concerned. Leo looked back at his brother, shock that Raph was questioning him, but surprised that it was out of concern, not contempt. _

_ Leo smiled. "Yeah, I'm sure. I'll save some for you." Leo said as he darted along the wall and hoisted himself onto another van. Hun now had two guns, and was circling himself as he shifted back towards the head of the truck._

_ "Where you going, Hun? Are you scared yet?" Leo laughed as he hopped between trucks, and the loud pattering of bullets as they hit the ceiling echoed through the warehouse. Leo kept moving, and taunting the large man. Although this was different than being in the jungle, he still found it exhilarating to use skills he had learned there to taunt the giant man. He heard startled cries and muffled yells in the background as his brothers took care of the hired hands. Hun, also hearing a particularly loud crash, darted back to the trailers, and Leo easily moved to trip him. Hun stumbled forward, and Leo stepped up to the fallen giant._

_ "You should know better than to expect to win against us, Hun." Leo chided. The man's eyes were closed and he groaned. Leo stepped closer, and was caught by surprise when a huge hand grabbed his ankle and swept him off his feet. Hun sprang up, Leo's ankle clamped painfully between his fingers. _

_ "Leo!" Mikey cried after Leo had swung from the man's grip and smacked into the side of a truck with a loud bang. Leo reached for his katanas that had clattered to the floor, but Hun pulled him out of reach._

_ "And you should know that I ain't one to give up easy, freak." He growled. Leo braced himself as his body was suddenly flying towards the open end of the trailer. He crashed through the wooden crates and weapons. _

_ "See ya, freaks!" Hun yelled as he ran through the large doors, a few battered men clumsily following him. The door rumbled shut as his brothers reached him._

_ "Leo, you okay?"_

_ "Yeah, m'fine." He mumbled as he shifted the broken wood so he could climb out. A hand found his arm, and he was tugged out of the mess. Mikey began anxiously brushing off the shattered shavings, muttering about not wanting to lose his older brother again._

_ "Mikey, he's fine!" Donnie cried as he fumbled around the wall searching for a switch. A soft click was followed by a rumbling as the garage door opened again, haunting moonlight illuminating the scene eerily._

_ "Yeah, Mike." Leo said as he gently pushed his youngest brother away and they walked outside. They climbed up a nearby fire escape and began the trek home. Raph was silent. _

_ "No snide remarks about how I got my shell handed to me, Raph?" Leo asked softly as he stepped back and let Donnie and Mikey go ahead. Raph was silent, his shoulders hunched slightly as he watched the ground passing underneath his feet. "Raph?" Leo asked again._

_ Raph suddenly jerked up and glared at him. "I'm not who I used to be, Leo, in case ya hadn't noticed I ain't gonna make jokes about nothin' anymore. Any of us, especially you coulda got seriously hurt. That ain't something to joke about." Mikey and Donnie stopped and turned, but Leo waved his hand and they left. Raph was breathing heavily, and his eyes were fierce, but not with familiar anger. This intensity was much more like pain. _

_ "Raph," Leo started, but Raph cut him off._

_ "No Leo, you just don't get it! You still think I'm that careless hothead you left behind when you went on yer safari adventure, but I'm not! And I don't ever wanna be that brainless idiot ever again! He almost killed you!" Raph yelled, his eyes brimming with tears. He closed his eyes and took two deep breaths before continuing in a softer voice. "I was scared, Leo. I didn't wanna lose you again. So don't be expectin' me to treat you like crap, cuz I'm not gonna be dat Raph anymore. I like this me just fine." _

_ Leo was silent, absorbing his brother's words. He sighed, "I don't like this Raph. He has no emotion, no drive. I miss my Raph: the one that I'd get in trouble with, the one who would wrestle and fight with me just 'cause, the one who was full of passion and life. I want _that _Raph back. But if you're okay with this one, I will be too."_

_ Raph looked to his feet. _

_ "Raph, I have to go check on something, okay? It's kinda important, but I'll be home in an hour. Is that okay?" Raph shyly nodded and he continued. "I have my cell. Don't wait up for me." He called as he turned and jogged away, leaving Raph still standing on the rooftop._

And so here he was. Brenna's apartment. Finally.


	6. An Empty Shell

**A/N: I am on a roll cuz I just found out I have absolutely NOTHING to do tomorrow for like the first time in my ENTIRE life. Can you tell I am a teensy bit excited?**

**Disclaimer: I do not own TMNT**

Raphael sat on the edge of the rooftop that he and Leo had stopped on, letting Mikey and Donnie head home without them, his feet dangling over the edge as a salty breeze brushed his face. Leo had unceremoniously left moments ago, leaving Raph to struggle with the emotions racking his mind and body. Leo was right, this Raphael was lifeless, just a hollow shell. Well, not really hollow, it just looked like it from the outside. Inside, Raph was doing his best to exterminate the emotions and feelings that had almost caused him to kill his brother and do so many other stupid things in the past. That night had haunted his nightmares the past weeks since then, bringing to light his greatest faults, and scaring him shell-less. He had always been taught that he needed to control his temper, from both Leonardo and Splinter, even his younger brothers. He remembered the incident years ago when he had almost hit Mikey with a pipe. His anger had blinded him then too. But this time he had been convinced that his anger was the reason they had lost Leo for good, and even though they hadn't said it, Raphael knew that his brothers had been angry and disappointed in him until they had rescued their older brother. The night after they had rescued Leo and defeated the stone generals, Raphael had sworn that he would never lose control of his emotions; and he hadn't since then, but it seemed that with the expulsion of his anger, all of his other emotions were gone too. He felt empty, numb, and lifeless. He had somehow managed to disguise his pain from his family, all except Leo.

_ Leo _would_ be da one ta notice, _he growled to himself.

Leo was right about having no drive to do anything anymore. Raph always felt tired, but found that he couldn't sleep at night. It was hard to pay attention in training, and even to laugh with Mikey. He found that his youngest brother's normal pranks didn't anger him, they just drained his energy. Bags had formed under his eyes, but thankfully his mask hid any sign of his exhaustion. Mikey had been annoyed with his older brother's newly adapted passive nature, and yesterday he had gone to extreme measures, tying those ribbons onto his mask after managing to pin him to the wall. Raph had been furious, and it had felt so good to _feel _something again, but once Leo had walked into the room, his anger had melted away, leaving him cold and numb again. He hated feeling like that.

_But, _he though as he stood up and brushed off his legs, _it has to be this way. I can't let myself lose control and let myself come that close to hurting one of my brothers ever again._

He took one backwards glance towards the harbor, turned, and jogged towards home.

Leo landed lightly on top of the marble apartment building, his callused feet numbly absorbing the shock from the gravel on the roof. He silently darted to the back of the building and, after making sure there was no sound or lights on, swung down onto the empty balcony. He froze, ensuring that no one had heard him, before moving towards the girl's window. He balanced on the small ledge, holding onto the stone pillars with one hand like before. Something brushed his hand as he adjusted his hold. He spun, latching onto it, before he realized what it was. A small shred of thick paper was clutched in his hand, writing staring out at him. He gingerly opened the paper.

_I don't know if you are the person that left my journal on my windowsill, but if you are, I would like to thank you. And thanks for the compliment. It was appreciated. If you don't mind my asking, if you ever find this, who are you?_

_ ~Bree_

"Kinda vague," Leo whispered to himself before closing the note and tucking it into his leather belt. He was just going to check to make sure she was okay; then he would leave and never come back. He couldn't answer the note. She would find it gone and know that whoever had returned her journal was gone. Well, at least he hoped so.

He gripped onto the edge of the window sill, his body lightly pressing against the cement as he peered into the dark room. The covers on the bed were ruffled, but not enough to hide a body. He searched the room for its inhabitant, and finally saw the bottom of her feet resting on the couch arm, the rest of her hidden from view. He moved to leave, but his conscious tugged him back towards the window. He sighed, and gently pushed on the glass. He half expected it to be locked, but the latch came free under his push, and he lightly stepped into the room. The eerie moonlight only covered a small patch on the floor, but it gave enough light for him, a trained master of stealth and shadow, to clearly see the room. He silently made his way to the couch, his breathing slow and steady, his muscles tense, ready to disappear, as he gazed over the back of the couch.

The first thing Leo noticed was how old and tired she looked. He couldn't believe he was staring into the face of a teenager. Even in sleep, she looked drained and tense, not peaceful like he would have expected. Her pale skin contrasted sharply with her dark hair. She was small and lanky, as if she wasn't eating enough. He grimaced at the way her cheekbones stuck out from her face, and her eyes sunk back. She had dark bruises along one side of her neck, and several dark imprints on her arms. A blanket covered most of her body, but a long cut along her arm peaked his curiosity, and he tugged the cloth back. He nearly jumped when an object clattered to the floor. The girl moaned and shifted, her cut arm becoming fully visible. Leo's mouth dropped open.

Line upon line of bloody cuts and scars laced her entire left forearm, some fresh and bleeding, others looking older. He moved, and was only partially surprised to see a glinting knife had fallen from her side, a sticky coat of blood along the edge.

Leo suddenly felt two extreme emotions. One, sadness at seeing the girl injured, and anger. He felt the unfamiliar sting of fury grip his stomach, but he had no idea at what. At the girl for purposely hurting herself, or at the people that made her feel worthless enough to take such extreme measures. The fury faded as he unexpectedly yawned. He needed to be home. It had been nearly an hour. He picked up the bloody knife, wiped it clean on his leather pad, and tucked it into his belt. He started to feel lightheaded and dizzy, but he quickly wrote another note, this time leaving it tucked under the pillow she slept on, and fleeted out the window, leaving no trace that he had been there.


	7. Doin' Just Fine on My Own

**A/N: Alright time for a confession. I am a music addict. I find it absolutely impossible to write without listening to music. I have playlist on YouTube titled "Leo's Playlist". Songs are all about Leo or songs that remind me of Leo. If you're in need of some killer music, check it out. It always makes me happy. Search for _artisticallychic_'s profile and you'll find it. Hope you like **

**Anyways, on with the story! Italicized words are internal thoughts. Italicized in quotes is the note.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own TMNT**

Brenna awoke to shouting muffled by the closed door. The numb pain in her gut twisted, and she felt like crying, but she couldn't. It had been too long. She angrily untangled the earphones at her side and shoved them in her ears, letting the sharp metallic music distract her of any other noise. It was the only way to escape anymore, drowning herself in music and pain. It felt so good when she would hurt herself. All of her numb anger and frustration would just go away for a little while, leaving nothing but a stinging pain. She loved being able to actually feel something. She had grown so numb over the past few months, and nothing but cutting had been able to pierce the haze that blanketed over her. She didn't feel anything anymore, even fear. She had no trouble walking in back alleys at night, even when she knew there were gang members around. She knew she should be scared, but she just couldn't be. She didn't see a point to it, just like everything else about her life. Life had no purpose to her anymore.

_ But hopefully that will change, _she thought to herself. _Tyler said I'd be in after some kinda test, then I will have a place I can fit in and do something worthwhile, at least a little bit._

A slam rattled the door, and the bang cut through her music, signaling the departure of her father. _Now to deal with malfunctioning parent number two. _Brenna sat up, the familiar sting of the cuts shooting up her arm as the rough fabric rubbed against it. She sighed, a faint hint of a smile touching her lips. To her, the scars looked beautiful, a reminder that she was alive and could still feel at least _something_. Each red line was a tally mark, a battle scar of another day survived. The few people that had seen had grimaced and yelled at her, but she had quickly adjusted her wardrobe and now only wore long shirts, despite the warm weather. That was okay with her. There was more than one reason she hid herself in so many ways. She couldn't let anyone in to see how broken she was inside, and somehow only wearing clothes that exposed her head and neck helped her feel more secure.

She rubbed the sleep from her eyes, and unconsciously tugged her sleeves down over her arms. They always seemed to creep up her arm while she slept. She threw the covers off of her legs and stood up before gathering the large blanket and pillows from the couch and throwing them onto her bed. A small piece of paper fluttered to the floor and she snatched it up after catching sight of the elegant handwriting from her last note.

_ "My name is Leonardo. I was the one that returned your journal. I came back tonight to check on you because it sounded like you are having a hard time. I don't know much about you, but I can tell you that there is ALWAYS someone out there who has it worse off than you do. Just something to think about. I don't know what I can do to help you, but if you need anything, leave a note and I will find it and respond as soon as I can."_

Brenna rubbed her neck in frustration. _What the hell? This person was in my room? Who the hell do they think they are? _

She growled in confusion and anger at the note and stuffed it in her pocket.

_I don't need anyone's help. I'm doin' just fine on my own._

Leo descended the rungs of the ladder after grinding the manhole cover into place, leaving the brightening world above behind. He limped the last few hundred feet to the lair door and pulled the disguised latch, before stumbling into the lair as the door closed behind him.

The lair was quiet. After the late mission last night, everyone followed the general rule of a delayed training session and was still asleep. Leo could hear the snoring from Michelangelo's room, and Don's lab was empty, which meant he was in his room. He didn't, however, hear the low rumbling of Raphael's breathing. Leo decided to check the dojo, and wandered towards the doors.

"Raph?" He called after sliding the doors open. The room was faintly lit by a row of candles flickering in the corner, faintly illuminating the outline of his brother.

"What?" Leo strained to hear Raph's soft, low voice.

"Why are you still up?" Leo couldn't hold back the older brother worry. Raph was hunched over, and he looked beaten and tired. Leo quickly walked over to him, knelt down, and put a hand on his shoulder. "Raph, what happened?"

The red banded turtle blinked and sighed. "Notin'. Just couldn' sleep, dats all."

"It doesn't look like that's all." When his brother flinched but didn't say anything, Leo continued. "What's going on Raph? Please, I want to help."

"Dere's notin' wrong wit me, so I dunno whatcha think ya need ta help with." Raph said sharply, blinking back the stinging in his eyes. Leo was silent, and the only conversation that passed between them was the sound of soft breathing.

"Raph," Leo said quietly. "You and I both know that this isn't you. What I said on the roof still stands, but all I want is for you to be happy, and we both know that you aren't."

"I am. I've never felt betta." Raph said gruffly, and even he could hear the lie in it.

"Are you? Are you really, Raph? 'Cause it sure doesn't look like it to me. You don't even seem like you feel anything anymore. You're just….empty."

Raph glared at the floor. Leo sighed and pulled his hand from his brother's shoulder.

"Raph, do you remember what happened after the Utroms rescued us from that ship? Remember what I was like after? I was like you. I was temperamental, and angry at myself for getting us in that situation with no way out. We would have died if they hadn't come in time. I blamed myself, and I was so focused on how it was my fault, how there was something that I could have done better, that I lost myself, just like you're doing now. You're killing yourself, you're destroying the Raphael that we all know and love."

Raph's eyes stung. His older brother was absolutely right. He felt himself slipping away, and he didn't know who he was anymore.

_It has ta be dis way._

_ No it don't and you know it._

_ Yes it does. I can't risk hurting dem anymore. Dere's been too many times dat I've been close ta hurtin one of dem. No more._

_ But ya _neverhave_ hurt one of dem._

_ Yeah, I have._

_ You know dat's not true. And dey always furgive ya when ya mess up. Leo's always da first one, and even after ya broke his swords, he still showed ya he needed ya._

Leo suddenly stood up. "Just like when I was messed up and none of you could get through to me, you're gonna have to decide for yourself who you want to be, Raph. But no matter what you choose, Sensei, Mikey, Donnie, and I will always love and need you." He gave Raph's shoulder a squeeze and headed to the doors.

"Leo," Raph called as his brother opened the doors.

"Yeah?" He said as he turned and faced Raph.

"Where were ya?" Raph asked as if nothing was wrong.

Leo sighed, then faintly smiled. "Looking after someone that is a lot like you."

Leo slipped through the doors, leaving a curious and confused brother in the dark.


	8. People Change

**Disclaimer: I do not own TMNT**

"You okay Leo?"

"Hmm?" The blue clad turtle continued to stare down at the book in his lap, not comprehending or even acknowledging the words on the page. His mind was somewhere else, and the purple banded turtle sitting across from him could tell something was bugging his older brother.

"Leo, the Shredder has returned and is seeking revenge by planning to kill Master Splinter." Donatello said with a perfectly straight face.

"Yeah, that's fine. Just don't stay up too late, Mikey."

Don rolled his eyes before reaching over and tapping Leo's shoulder. His brother's head snapped up and he spun around.

"Earth to Leo!" Don called as his brother's gaze swept over the room, searching for danger. Leo's eyes eventually found his brother's. He was tense for a moment more before he slumped back into his chair and pinched the bridge of his beak.

"I'm sorry, Donny. Did you say something?" He sighed.

"Yeah, actually I did. I stated that the Shredder came back and was going to kill Sensei. Then you said that's fine and called me Mikey."

Leo sighed again and Don smiled. Leo smiled back. "I'm sorry Don."

"What's up, bro? You've been in la la land since you got up."

"Nothin'" He started, but Don's scrutinizing gaze made him swallow and continue. "I'm worried about Raph." He hoped that his mild statement would satisfy his knowledgeable brother's questioning.

"Why, what's wrong with him?" Don set his book and pen down on the table, turning his full attention to his older brother. Leo did the same and crossed his arms, leaning against the table. His shoulders hunched over and his head fell, his gaze drilling into the wood as he gathered his thoughts. Don was patient; he knew that, if given enough time and attention, Leo would open up about his concerns or feelings, though the latter was definitely more infrequent. Leo had done neither since his return from Central America. Don knew that Leo came to him most besides their father, finding Raphael too absorbed in his own feelings and frustrations, and Mikey too carefree for his entrusting. There had been innumerable nights before Leo's trip that Leo would come to Donatello, seeking answers and help, or just a listening ear. Don had tried his best to help, and in return, Leo had been the same for Don. When Leo had returned and never made even a hint that he wanted to speak to Donnie about anything, no recollection of stories from his trip or concerns for Don while he had been away had left Don feeling hurt and betrayed, but the chaos that had enveloped the family when Leo had been captured had sent those feelings out of his mind, and he had had the single purpose of getting his brother back. But even after that, Leo hadn't come to Don, and Don had kept his distance. He had wanted to tell Leo about the new inventions he had created while Leo had been away, or the improved alert system, and how he hated his job, but he also wanted Leo to come to him. For the two years Leo had been away, Don had kept to himself, except for the occasional outing or evening spent with Sensei or Mikey. He hadn't dared thrust his problems on Mikey or Sensei, and he never had the chance to talk to Raph. He needed Leo, but he didn't want to be the only brother groveling at Leo's feet for help as soon as he returned. Leo needed to come to him, and he hadn't, and Don's trust in his oldest brother was wavering.

"What was he like, when I was gone? When he was here?" Leo asked softly, his hazel eyes boring into Don's chocolate brown ones.

"Well, uh, he wasn't around a lot. He was usually asleep during the day when I was awake. But he would leave at night. When he would get home I was usually up, but he would just ignore me or bark down my throat when I would ask where he had been."

"So he was worse than normal." Leo said sadly.

"Yeah, most of the time. On the rare occasion that he would be home all day, after he had gotten hurt the night before, I realize now, he was very somber and withdrawn, like he was scared of us. It was frightening." Don shuddered at the memories.

"Kinda like now." Leo whispered to the table.

"What's he doing now that's upsetting you so much? Isn't it good that Raph is controlling his temper? That he's milder?" Donnie argued.

"He isn't Raph anymore, though. He…He's just not." Leo rubbed his temples in frustration.

"Leo, Raph changed when you left, and he changed when you got captured. You should have seen how angry he was at himself for letting you get taken. He must have taken out three times as many Foot as any of the rest of us that night trying to get to you. Did you just not want him to change?" Don laid a hand on his brother's forearm.

"It's not that, Don. Remember when Sensei sent me to Japan after I hurt him? And how I was being hotheaded? Like he usually is? Well, now he's being like me. He's bottling everything, all of his anger, and it's killing him. I wouldn't mind if he would beat me to a pulp every day. I just want my Raph back, not this lifeless, empty one. It's almost like he died and a robot replaced him. I hate it."

Don was quiet for a moment, and Leo could see the surprise written all over his face, though he was trying to hide it.

"Am I just crazy, Don? Maybe I went mental after being alone for so long." He trailed off. "Do you not see what's happening?"

"No, I do see some of it, but not to the degree or extremity that it seems you are seeing. I see a Raph that messed up and is trying to fix it."

"But I don't want him to become a different person just because he is scared of losing his temper and hurting me!" Leo said loudly, his frustration coming out. "I don't love this Raph, I love the old one! I don't even know this one!"

Don's face hardened and an unfamiliar knot of anger twisted in his gut, and he blurted out before thinking. "Well, you were gone for two years, Leo!" He stood up and slammed his fist on the table, and continued yelling. "People change, Leo, and you weren't here. You don't know any of us anymore." He glared at his brother, finding only slight satisfaction in the shocked expression on his face before he stormed off to his lab. He was barely able to slam the door closed before hot tears trickled down his cheeks.


	9. Fatherly Council

**Disclaimer: I do not own TMNT**

_Each lash against my skin,_

_ Each tear in my soul,_

_ A line of red,_

_ A trickle of life,_

_ The screaming pain,_

_ The words of disgust,_

Brenna scribbled out the lines with her dark blue pen, frustrated that she couldn't concentrate and the poem wasn't turning out how she wanted it to. She knew she was distracted. She rested her chin on her palm and laid her pen down.

Her test to enter the Purple Dragons was tonight. No one had told her what it would be, but Tyler had mentioned something about stealing. Just the thought gave her a thrill, and the shred of a conscious left at the back of her mind told her that wasn't good. Before her life had begun to spiral out of control, Brenna would have never dreamed of committing any type of crime. Now she found the thought rather enticing.

_Who the hell was in my room? _Her mind drifted to the other subject that was distracting her from her writing. _Was it like a serial killer or something? Why the hell does he even act like he cares? Maybe it's someone I know? _She shook her head. _No, none of the crackheads I run with now give a damn about me, just like everyone else. Maybe he's like a psycho child molester tryin' to gain my trust so he can kidnap me? Haha, like hell that'll work. Though, it could be pretty fun to mess with the guy. And it would give me something to do, since anything else I do is stupid and pointless anyways._

Now with a new determination, Brenna grabbed a fresh piece of paper and began writing.

"Enter, my son."

Leo sadly slid the door to his father's room open, guilt and hurt weighing heavily on his mind, but showing physically through his hunched shoulders.

"Kneel,"

Leo unconsciously obeyed, habitual force from nearly twenty years forcing him to do so without question.

"What troubles you, my son?"

Leo was silent, the raging hurt and anger and frustration roiling through him. He didn't know where to begin. He opened his mouth several times, but found no words to convey his troubles. He knew that part of his training in Central America had been to teach him to rely only on himself, but another had been to show him how important his family was, to teach him that he needed them, that he could never take them for granted.

_Because now, _he thought, _I really have lost them._

"I overheard your….conversation with Donatello this morning. Is his reaction still troubling you?" Splinter's normally calming voice provided no comfort to Leonardo.

"Yes, Sensei. I don't know why he reacted that way. I was simply talking about my concerns for Raphael with him and he got defensive, then blew up in my face." Leo looked up at his rat master, his eyes searching for an answer.

Splinter's expression was one of puzzlement. "Of all of your brothers, Donatello would be the one to not react so violently. But perhaps you hit a nerve? Your absence, after all, did not just affect Raphael. Donatello accepted the role of leader while you were away, though there was barely anything to be called a team left. Think of how you would have felt, had you been in his shoes for that year. You two were very close before, just as you were with all of your brothers. You all were a close knit team, a single machine needing four parts to work. When one piece was broken, the whole machine would be broken. But when one piece was taken away to be improved, the other three adapted and learned to function by themselves. Now that the fourth piece has returned, the three pieces need to learn what it is like to be part of a team again, what it is like to be whole again. Perhaps something you had or did with Donatello before that he expected to return to normal has not happened?"

"Are you implying something specific, Sensei?" Leo asked quietly.

Splinter sighed. "I am, but it is not my place to make the four pieces fit together again. That is your role, and yours alone. Now that we are all growing older, I cannot be there to fix everything, Leonardo. Sometimes the most deadly enemies are ones we cannot see, rifts of simple actions that tear families apart. You knew that things would be broken and hard to fix after you returned, that putting the four pieces back together would be painful. It was difficult when you first came back, but now it is time for those new wounds, and the old ones that have been hidden in the past months, to begin healing. It is time for the four pieces to not only be able to fit together and function on their own, but for them to become a working team that rely on each other again. Not only Raphael, but Michelangelo and Donatello as well. Your younger brother may have been impacted most visibly, but you know Donatello's ways. He is quiet, and often denies that he is in need. He bore heavy burdens while you were away."

Leo was silent, absorbing the subtle reprimand and council his father had given. "Yes, Sensei."

"Are you angry Leonardo?" Splinter asked harshly. He had noticed the quiet contempt in his son's voice. Leo flinched.

"No, Sensei. I just…" Leo sighed. "I just want the brothers I left to be here, not these strangers that have changed into brothers I don't know."

"Leonardo, have you not changed as well?" Splinter's voice was soft, like he was talking to an insecure child.

"Not to the extremity of my brothers!" Leo said quickly, the frustration he was fighting to control rising to the surface.

"Leonardo," Splinter chided. "The brothers you know and love are still there. The pieces are the same, if changed in shape or color. They, like anyone else faced with the loss of a loved one, built up a wall of protection of the outside forces that they were normally protected against by their older brother. Now it is time for that older brother to tear down those barriers and reunite this family. The task presented to you is difficult, and will be frustrating and discouraging, but you have been presented with difficult challenges before. I do not doubt your skills or your patience Leonardo, but it will take time to earn your brothers' trust again. Be patient, and be gentle. I know you can do this my son." Splinter placed a soft hand on his son's leathery shoulder, and Leo looked up. Splinter smiled softly at him; Leo hesitantly smiled back.

"Thank you, Sensei." Splinter smile broadened when he saw a new fiery determination in his son's eyes. Leo rocked back on his heels and stood up before sliding the door open and slipping out into the main room of the lair.

"Yo Leo! Where you been?" Mikey suddenly appeared on the couch, a video game controller in hand. The annoying theme song to one of his games was blaring through the speakers, but Leo flipped over the couch and muted the TV before Mikey could blink.

"Dude, what's wrong with you?" Mikey whined, tossing his controller aside and digging into the couch, searching for the remote.

Leo closed his eyes and pinched the bridge between his eyes before answering. "Nothing, just a headache."

"You always use that excuse." Mikey muttered before turning the sound back on and plopping onto the couch. Leo watched as his youngest brother tuned out the rest of the world and absorbed himself into the game. Leo stood and watched him play for a few minutes before sitting down next to him. Mikey made no reaction.

"Can I play with you?" Leo asked suddenly, and at first he didn't think Mikey had heard him. Mikey froze, pushed the pause button that immediately silenced all the rough engine sounds and annoying music, and turned to his brother with his mouth hanging slack. Leo nearly laughed.

"Huh?" Mikey squeaked.

"Can I play?" Leo asked again as innocently as possible.

"I repeat," Mikey said dramatically. "Huh?"

"Mikey, I want to play video games with you. If you don't want me to, I guess I'll just go find something else to do…" Leo trailed off.

"No, uh, why? You never play video games. Like, ever."

"You want to do something else with me then?" Leo said like a threat.

Mikey's eyes rose in realization. "Oh ho ho! I see what this is. It's a 'you-gotta-do-somethin'-with-Leo-time-so-either-let-me-play-video-games-with-you-or-we'll-go-train' kinda scenario, huh?"

Leo smiled at his brother before nodding. "Exactly."

Mikey sighed in defeat. "Ugh, alright. We'll play MarioKart. That's about as extreme as you've ever gotten in the video game world."

"I'll still kick your shell," Leo smirked as he hopped up and grabbed a controller.

"Will not." Mikey pouted.


	10. Like We Used To

**Disclaimer: I do not own TMNT**

"Leo!"

"Aw, what's wrong Mikey? I'm kicking your shell too hard?"

"No way, you numb-nut! The Mikester will never lose!"

"Well, what're you doing now? That's right, losing!"

"Oh, just you wait Leo. I still have a few tricks up my sleeve."

"You don't wear clothes, you idiot!"

"Metaphorically speaking!"

"Wow, Mike. That was a big word. Do you need to sit down? Can I grab you some water? We don't want you to hurt yourself."

"Oh, shut up Leo. You are so dead!"

The sound of engines and squealing tires as well as the Mario theme music echoed through the lair. Tense moments passed. Leo and Mikey were glued to the couch, both leaning towards the television, their focus on beating the other.

"No!" Leo yelled as a blue shell flew out of nowhere and his character spun out of control. Mikey's character flew past Leo.

"Haha!" Mikey cried in triumph as he passed the finish line. He stood up on the couch and began a dramatic exclamation of victory. "I told you! Who is the greatest MarioKart racer ever? That's right, this Battle Nexus Champion is!" A pillow hit his face and he fell to his rear on the couch.

"You got lucky, Mikey." Leo muttered. He reached for the remote and turned off the television.

"Aw, no rematch?" Mikey taunted.

"We've been playing for over an hour, Mike."

"Oh, you been playing longer den dat, guys." Mikey and Leo both spun around. Raph was leaning against the doorframe in the kitchen, a soda can in hand. He looked intimidating and reckless, like the old Raph; but Leo's spirit of hope fell when he found Raph's eyes. They were still the same hard, lifeless eyes of the stranger.

"Whatcha mean, Raphie?" Mikey threw his controller behind his back and narrowly missed the basket before walking over to Raph.

"I mean, ya been playin fer almost three hours. It's dinnuh time. Splintah wants pizza. Wanna go get it wit me?"

"Sure. Let me grab some clothes and I'll be right down." Mikey babbled before darting up the stairs. Leo walked over and picked up his youngest brothers remote and turned off the TV. Raph sat and watched him.

"What do you want, Raph?" Leo said a little harshly.

Raph looked at him, some emotion flickered in his eyes and Leo half expected Raph to start yelling, but he only sighed and lowered his eyes. "Nothin' Leo. Is it okay if I take Mike? Figured ya didn't want anyone goin' out alone."

Leo's scowl softened. "Yeah, that's fine." Mikey pounded down the stairs, a pile of rugged clothes in his hands. "Be safe." He whispered as the two headed to the door and left.

Leo sighed and silently walked to Don's lab. The door was sill closed, and as far as he knew, his genius brother hadn't left his sanctuary. He knocked softly on the old door.

"What?" a voice croaked from inside, muffled slightly by the door. "If it's Leo go away. I don't want to talk to you."

Leo closed his eyes and was silent for a moment, knowing that his brother would get curious and open the door if he waited. True to his old habits, the door opened moments later and Don poked his head out. His eyes hardened and he stiffened when he saw who it was.

"Go away." He mumbled and went to disappear inside again, but Leo threw his hand in the way and stopped the door from closing.

"Donny…" Leo said softly. Don sniffed.

"I said go away." He moaned.

"No. We need to talk…" Realization hit Leo like a bucket of cold water. "Like we used to."

Don's head shot up and his eyes looked bloodshot. "What did you say?"

Leo sighed and stepped in the doorway. Donatello retreated and fell into his chair. "We need to talk like we used to, remember?"

Don was still for a moment, then nodded faintly.

Leo took it as an invitation and sat on a rickety stool near the counter. "I'm here, Don. I'm so sorry for this morning. I'm so sorry...for…for everything. Will you forgive me?" Leo said softly, staring at his slumped brother. Don's eyes stayed glued to the floor. "Don?"

The purple banded turtle slowly looked up. "I'm sorry too, Leo. I guess…" He sighed. "I guess I just wanted everything to go back to how it was, but then again I didn't. It's like any organism that is put in an uncomfortable environment." He looked to Leo to see if he was annoying him with his scientific approach, but his older brother was listening intently and didn't seem to mind the analogy. "They adapt to that environment, but then when they are put back into the original habitat, they have to readjust yet again."

Leo nodded. "I understand, Don, and honestly, I wanted things to be the same too. I didn't want to feel so distant from you, and I didn't want you all to change so much. But I changed too, so it's not fair for me to want that. I'm sorry."

"I am too. I'm sorry I didn't take better care of Mikey and especially Raph, otherwise things might be different." His gaze fell to the floor again.

"Hey," Leo whispered. "Donatello, look at me." He said louder. Don flinched before looking up. "You did an amazing job. You shouldn't be so hard on yourself. You know how hard it is to control Raph. At least you kept Mikey alive, that in of itself is a feat." A faint smile twitched the olive skinned turtle's mouth upwards. "I'm so proud of you."

Leo saw tears brim at the corner of his brother's eyes, so he reached out and Don fell into them. Don shuddered and silently whimpered as Leo tenderly rubbed his shell. "It's okay Don. I'm here now. We're all safe. Just let it out. Trust me, it's better than keeping it in." A wet splash tickled his plastron. They sat in embrace for agonizingly short moments before Don pulled himself up again and scrubbed the tear marks from his cheeks. He finally spoke, breaking through the calming silence of the room.

"What're we gonna do now?" Don asked, unnecessarily straightening a pile of papers he had set in his lap.

"Are you okay?" When Don nodded, Leo continued. "I promise that I will be better about coming in and talking to you. I have so many stories from Central America, and I still need to unpack the stuff I got you."

Donatello's eyes lit with excitement and curiosity then shaded in suspicion. "Wait, how did you know what was wrong? You haven't seemed to notice these past few weeks."

Leo chuckled. "Well, you're uncharacteristic blow up this morning was key." Don looked skeptical. "And I got some clues from Sensei."

"He knew?" Leo nodded. "That sly, spying…" Leo laughed and Donnie smiled. "Well, I guess that's that. What next bro?"

Leo stood and walked to the door. "Next, you're gonna come eat dinner, then go to bed. You shouldn't have bags the color of your mask under your eyes."

Don set his pile of notes on the desk and followed Leo, shutting the door and turning the lights off. Just before they reached the kitchen, Don touched Leo's arm, and the blue banded turtle turned, instantly being wrapped into another embrace.

"I missed you, Leo." Donnie whispered.

Leo wrapped his arms around his brother. "I missed you, too."


	11. Raphael's Wish

**A/N: I'm BAAAAAAACK! Are you guys psyched? I AM! Anyways I'm now a hi skool gadget! Lol enjoy this chap, I hope it makes up for the month of hiatus! Love y'all!**

**I do not own TMNT not matter how many shooting stars I wish on**

"Raphael, your stance is sloppy. Donatello, lift your elbows higher. Michelangelo! Leave that moth alone." Splinter barked at his students. "Stay strong in your core, Leonardo."

Leo gave his father a subtle look of gratitude for not leaving him out of his corrections, even though Leo had mastered this simple kata years ago and Splinter thought there was nothing to correct. Leo had spent the last two years training and strengthening, but Splinter knew relationships were strained between his sons, and chose not to favor any like he had sometimes in the past to show an example, but it had usually only made his second oldest angry and the other two unhopeful.

"Good," He finally acknowledged. "My sons, kneel." The four shelled bodies shuffled into a line and knelt in front of Splinter.

The rat sighed and leaned into the walking stick he held in his paws. "My sons, it has been a difficult journey these past few years. You have come from students and children that have never seen the sun, to grown you protectors of this city. It has not been easy to get here. Like any great accomplishments in life, there have been dangers, risks, and sacrifices made in order to become better." Splinters stopped for a breath, and the turtles noticed an unfamiliar hitch of crying from their father. All had heard it late at night, though they would never speak of it to each other or even Splinter. Whenever any of them were critically hurt and confined to the isolation of the med room, Splinter would come in late at night and sit at their bedside, hold a limp hand, and pray for his sons.

"I am growing older my sons, as are you all. You are growing less and less dependent on me and my guidance, though I hope I will still remain a part of your lives."

"Whoa, Sensei…"

"Are ya tellin' us goodbye?"

Splinter gazed sadly down at the four shocked faces before him, and smiled. "No, my sons." The four let out breaths they hadn't been aware of holding. "I am just an old rat telling you that which I hope you already know. It has been a long time since we have all been in a peaceful atmosphere all together. I know that you are all not fully healed from the scars of Leonardo's absence." Leo flinched and Raphael stiffened. "But, like you have done so many times in the past, I know you will grow closer and stronger by overcoming you own personal hurt and forgiving each other, and yourselves. I am not setting any expectations on you, nor am I going to fix this. I cannot. This is a task you must do, together. I will be here for council and guidance, but this you must do on your own. This is no tangible enemy like so many you have fought and defeated. These are emotions and feelings, trust that has been broken, and promises forgotten. It will take time for you to become a team again. I know you can get through this my sons. I have seen progress already."

Mikey raised his hand.

"Yes, Michelangelo?"

"Uh, not to be rude sensei, but I got absolutely no clue where this is going. I mean, I'm pretty chill with your lectures and stuff, but this is like a Donnie-lesson on physic-can-ismus whatevers. You usually get to the point by now."

Splinter smiled knowingly at his son. Michelangelo's childish personality was returning to the surface, and it gave Splinter hope that things would turn back to normal. "Michelangelo, I am saying that I am proud of all of you. You will forever be my sons. I am not saying goodbye, but I cannot promise I will always be here. As your father, I am giving you permission to go out and patrol the city once again. I know that I have told you limited and only gave permission that once, but now you may as often as you and your brothers see fit."

Mikey's eyes lit up, and he held in a laugh of joy. "Oh thank heavens! I need some more action. I'm getting sick of fighting each other and leather dummies."

Leo glanced at Raph, expecting him to make a snide comment about how Mikey was the only leather dummy they had, but he remained quiet, looking at the floor. Mikey was rocking back and forth with excitement and Donnie was shifting uncomfortably.

_ He probably has an experiment about to explode in his lab, _Leo thought to himself with a tug of a smile.

"Is that all sensei?" Donnie asked quietly.

_Ah, so Donnie noticed too. It seemed like sensei had more to say to us than just lifting our grounding._

Splinter sighed before looking up from the floor. "Yes, you are dismissed."

Mikey shot up and ran through the dojo doors, followed closely by Donatello. Raph slowly stood, and Leo noticed him glance at Splinter. Leo remained sitting until he had left. He hopped up to grab a cushioned mat for his father and candles, as he had often done when he was younger to train and meditate longer after practice.

"What is troubling you, father?" Leo said as he sat down across from the rat.

Splinter slowly lit the candles. Leo hopped up and flipped off the lights. The faint glow from the candles highlighted Splinter's whiskers.

"Father," Leo reminded gently, as he sat back down. _He looks so old. Something is on his mind. He seems older and more worn down when he is upset or worrying about something._

Splinter continued to stare into the candles, the smell of hot wax and burning numbing his senses with familiarity. He cleared his throat and looked up at his oldest son, the worry clear on his face.

"How are you, Leonardo?" Splinter internally smiled when Leo shot back in surprise.

"Um, I'm fine father."

"You know what fine means, right?" Leo looked puzzled, and Splinter's smile reached his lips. His oldest was unfamiliar with his newfound passion that Mikey had exposed while Leo had been away.

"Um, Sensei?"

"Freaked out, insecure, neurotic and emotional."* Splinter chuckled. "You're brother was often alone, and, being uncomfortable by himself, relied on me to be a constant companion while watching his movies."

Leo still looked confused, and Splinter laughed again before continuing, his solemn mood and stress returning. He arched his shoulders to relieve the tension, and Leo looked almost angry.

"What is the matter, my son?"

"Sensei, enough of these games! I don't want to sit here and talk about how I am. You look so tired, and I know something is worrying you. What happened?"

Splinter froze in shock for a moment. "My son…"

Leo grunted and looked at the ground. "I am sorry, Father. I am just frustrated with Raph."

Splinter flinched at the name. "My son, do not be sorry for being frustrated. I understand."

"What is wrong with him, Sensei? He's dead. He doesn't smile, he doesn't laugh, he doesn't even get angry anymore, no matter how much Mikey provokes him."

Splinter closed his eyes and bowed his head.

"Father? What's wrong?" Leo stood up and touched his arm. His shoulders were shaking.

Splinter grabbed onto Leo's arm and pulled him down. He brushed at his eyes before looking at Leo.

"Raphael wants to leave. Alone."

**A/N: If you can name this movie, you are my best friend.**


	12. Tragedy Won't Stay Away Forever

**Disclaimer: I do not own TMNT**

The initial shock of his father's revelation still had not worn off by the time the four of them were preparing to leave the lair. They had all decided an evening out was long overdue. Leo moved in a daze, watching his immediate youngest brother from the corner of his eye in a new light. He noticed how stiff and tired Raph looked, how withdrawn. He kept his distance from Leo, and even avoided touching or being near Mikey and Donnie, as if they were fragile trinkets that would be easily broken. Instead of the initial frustration Leo would usually feel towards his brother, he only felt sadness and regret, maybe even a little anger. His brother was miserable. And now he wanted to leave. Why? Because he couldn't handle being around them anymore? Because he needed bigger, better things? Because he hated his older brother who had abandoned and neglected him for two years? Leo sighed in frustration and grabbed his katanas from their resting place against the wall, and strapped them to his back. Splinter appeared in his doorway as the four of them walked to the lair entrance, two excitedly, two sadly. Leo brought up the rear and noticed the sad expression on his father's face as Raphael passed him without acknowledging him. Leo paused and looked at his father, pleading for an answer to the questions and worries drowning in his mind.

Splinter just solemnly shook his head and disappeared back into his room. Disappointed and lost, Leo trotted after his brothers, slipping silently through the doors as the elevator doors boomed shut and they rose upwards.

"So what have the Foot been up to while I've been gone? Seems like Karai hasn't been much but hired guns lately? Their funding spent up or something?" Leo hopped over a brick ledge and onto the next building.

Donatello swung over the gap and landed lightly next to Leo. "I honestly don't know. I haven't tried hacking into their databases in some time. Other . . . issues were of more importance while you were away. I forgot about them because they weren't a thorn under our shell."

Leo nodded knowingly as the two of them continued. They had decided to split up, partially because Mikey was being annoying and he would tone it down around Raph, and Leo also wanted to talk to Donatello again. Instead of looking for trouble like they had down at the docks, the boys had decided to patrol around the more down trodden part of downtown. So far they hadn't seen anything.

"I didn't see anything the whole time you were away." Donnie continued. They continued in silence, listening for any sounds of trouble. Ten minutes passed before Leo slowed, signaling for his brother to stop.

"Raph, Mike." Leo said softly into the mic of his shell cell. "Let's head in. Doesn't look like there's anyone out tonight."

Moments of static passed before Mikey's strained voiced boomed out of the device. "Nice timing, Leo! Woah, you almost got my mask. Hasn't anyone ever told you not to touch a ninja's mask?" The sharp ring of metal clashing against metal rang through the tiny speaker. Donnie tensed and grabbed his shell cell, instantly turning on the locator and shot off in the direction Mikey's signal was coming from, Leo right behind him.

"Mikey," Leo huffed as he and Donatello flew over the buildings.

"Leo? Ya still there? We're kinda caught up at the moment dude. Yo! Leave him alone!" Mikey shouted away from the communicator, then his voice was loud and clear again. "Bro, ya gotta hurry. Raph got knicked and he's bleeding everywhere. Hey, Foot trash! Get over here! I'm the good looking one!"

"There they are!" Donnie tersely said as he skidded to a halt.

"So, uh, what were you saying about Foot activity earlier?" Leo asked as they invisibly crept forward.

Donnie nervously chuckled. "Guess they're back from vacation?" Leo looked at him quizzically. "What?" He asked defensively.

"That's a line I would have expected from Mikey." Leo said quietly as they moved closer. Raph's strangled cry of rage could be heard, along with Mikey's exhausted teasing. Their brothers' tiring physiques worried the two into hurrying, and they were soon in the fray of black clad warriors, but moments after Leo and Don arrived, the shadows began to retreat. By the time Leo had drawn his swords, the ninjas had completely disappeared.

Donnie leapt to Mikey, who had a nasty cut on his head, and immediately began tending to him. Leo looked around at the damage. Raph was standing over a small pile of unconscious bodies near the edge of the building. He shuddered and turned to face Leo. He looked like he was about to cry. He opened his mouth, then his eyes rolled back in his head, and his body fell to the ground.

"Raph!" Leo yelled as he leapt towards his brother, catching him before he tumbled over the edge. Don and Mikey rushed to Leo's side, helping him get a better grip on their fallen brother.

"Call April. Raph needs to get home. Now." Donnie's voice was so solemn, that even Leo didn't have anything to say about him taking charge.

Two hours later, Leo was pacing the floor in the main room of the lair. Even Mikey wasn't complaining about his obstruction of the tv. He, April, Casey, and Splinter were waiting anxiously on the couch. Splinter's tail twitched in barely refrained annoyance.

"My son, you must calm down. Raphael will be fine."

Leo spun, his anger erupting to the surface. "No he won't! There've been way too many close calls lately! We can't escape tragedy forever! And it's all my fault! I'm the one that suggested splitting up! It's always my stupid calls that get my brother's hurt! And heaven forbids I pay for my choices!"

"Leonardo!" Splinter stood up, the crack of his walking stick plunging the room once again into silence. The rat and eldest turtle glared at each other for a full minute.

"Well," Leo whispered menacingly. "I guess Raph finally gets his wish."

Splinter's mouth fell open, and Leo was in the elevator before he could call his son back.


	13. Angel of Mercy

Disclaimer: I don't own TMNT

Leo breathlessly climbed up a set of grimy steel rungs to the surface and shoved a manhole cover back into place before leaping onto the nearest fire escape. He rolled onto the rooftop, his movements rushed and sloppy. He set off at a sprint, not knowing or caring where he was going. He could feel the oncoming torrent of emotions, and instinctively had to run away. After his training with the Ancient One, he had learned how to deal with emotions such as guilt and defeat. But nothing like betrayal. If Raphael wanted to leave, then fine! They didn't need him anyways! _Forget Splinter's stupid analogy! We don't need him anyways!_

_They don't need _me. I'm_ the problem, not Raph. Donny even said so. They have all learned to get along without me. _

_So I will leave. I don't need them either. _

Leo continued to run deeper into the darkening city, wishing for any kind of diversion to wake him from this nightmare.

"Sensei, what the heck is wrong with Leo? What did he mean, 'Raph finally gets his wish?" Mikey asked, his face still a mask of alarm at his brother's flight from the lair.

Splinter sighed, and looked to the ground. "You will have to ask your brother that, my son."

Mikey seemed frustrated with his father's inadequate answer, and stormed off in the direction of his adjacent older brother's lab, a grim face of determination.

Her breathing was fast and hard, and she hadn't even thrown the rock yet.

"Come on! Throw the damn rock all ready, new chick! The cops will get here before the alarm goes off at this rate!"

Rough cackling erupted behind her. Brenna took a shuddering breath before darting the last few feet and chucking the large brick into a glass window. The screech of glass shards hitting the pavement seemed to spur the group of rough teenagers behind her into action. The security alarm blared into the night, calling to the police, but the gang members acted if there was no noise and rushed into the building through the broken window. All kinds of merchandise fell off of the shelves and disappeared into dark bags that were soon heavy with anything from antique jewelry to modern technology toys. Brenna hopped inside and grabbed a handful of glittering necklaces from a stand on a glass case. She hefted the rock she had thrown moments before and rammed it into the case, and shattered the fragile glass and snatched up the glittering jewels inside.

"We gotta get outta here!" Some deep voice echoed as soon as the blaring alarm suddenly silenced. It was eerily quiet beside the sound of scrambling bodies. Soon faint sirens could be heard, and Brenna's heart dropped in an onrush of fear. The shadows around her scrambled and one by one slipped out of the store. Brenna hurriedly snatched up anything that looked valuable that was left, wary of the growing noise.

A few startled cries came from the alley way, and several thumps before a comprehendible voice said, "Wait, wait, wait! Here I'll give it back, jus don' hurt me!"

Brenna froze in her tracks, listening to the outside conversation after pinning herself up against the wall.

"Whadya tink, Leo?" A gruff voice said. "Does dis punk deserve tuh leave?"

A sigh, followed by, "He's just a kid, Case. Let him go." Another voice said, "But if we ever catch you again kid, you'll get what you deserve: a ride to the police station."

Brenna risked looking through the broken window. A tall, muscular man let go of one of her comrades that he had had pinned to the wall. He stumbled off, leaving his bag of goods on the ground. The muscular man turned around and picked up the bag, before talking to someone Brenna couldn't see.

"The cops'll be here any minute, Leo. Whatduh we do wit' dese kids?"

Something nagged at the back of Brenna's mind at the mention of the unseen vigilante's name, but before she could remember, her arm bumped into the glass case and a piece of glass clattered on the floor. Before she could blink, she was pinned up against the wall by huge, rough arms and struggling for breath.

"Please!" She gasped. Hard onyx eyes glared into hers. She dropped the bag clutched in her hand, and pried at the concrete fingers around her throat. Tears welled in her eyes, and her mind started to cloud over. "Please!" she cried again.

The eyes opened wide. "Brenna?" the hands went slack and she fell to the ground. She could barely hear voices over the loudening police sirens. Before she could stand, the rough, heavy arms had lifted her and slung her over his shoulder and darted out of the window. Red and blue flashing lights passed over her face as her captor darted down the dark alley. Her eyes slammed shut in fear as she suddenly had the sensation of going up. The vertical ascent didn't slow him, and soon she could tell they were racing over rooftops. Only the sounds of her pounding heart and his controlled breathing could be heard, so she assumed his partner was not trailing them.

Tears rolled down her eyes. "_Mom, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry."_

The man started to slow down, and after on more leap across buildings that nearly made her scream, he stopped and set her down. As soon as she gathered the courage to open her eyes, she found herself alone on her windowsill.

"Wha?" she gasped.

"What the hell did you think you were doing?" a voice said.

She looked around but saw no one. "I…"

He sighed. "I should have left you for the cops."

"No!" she cried. "Th….thank you." She whispered.

"Don't ever do that again. Cuz next time, I won't be so merciful."

"Who are you?"

No answer.

"Please! I need to know."

"My name is Leonardo. That is all you need to know." The figurative light bulb lit above her head.

"Thank you, Leonardo." She whispered.

"I meant what I said in that letter. There are people that care about you, and there is always, ALWAYS, someone out there that has it worse off than you do. You don't want to end up like those good-for-nothing guys you were with tonight. You are better than that. That life is dangerous. You don't need to take risks like that. You deserve and can have something better. Look around you. The world can be yours. You just have to see the good in it."

The ceiling creaked above her, and she knew he was gone. In a daze, she crawled onto her bed, curled up in a ball, and sleep didn't come for a long time.


	14. That's Not Good Enough

A/N: Thank you for the concern, AvaleeDarling. Despite all magnanimous and utterly futile attempts on my life, I am NOT dead. Haha thanks to EVERYONE who is still hoping this story will be finished, because today is your lucky day! It will be finished! And my goal is before the New Year, so stay tuned, because there will be very frequent updates from now until Christmas. With all of the love in the world, artychick.

Disclaimer: I do not own TMNT

Michelangelo was rarely a patient person. He was energetic and always had to be doing _something. _And to him, sitting in his older brother's lab waiting for another older brother to wake up so he could find out what was going on with his oldest brother didn't count. And yet, he had been sitting here for nearly three hours, and he was pretty sure half of his brain had simply melted due to lack of stimulation.

A knock at the door brought the youngest turtle out of his insane musings on the easiest way to paint the ceiling. He turned in his swivel chair just as he only present and conscious brother walked in, carrying a tray of warm broth and cold pizza. Mikey rubbed the bridge in between his eyes as Donnie sat, setting the tray on his cluttered desk.

"What time is it?" He quietly croaked.

Donnie sighed and seemed to sink farther back into his worn chair. "Almost six. Leo isn't back yet. I called April and apparently Casey was out and isn't back yet, either."

"Great, now Leo's in a funk and acting like Raph used to." Mikey paused. "Seriously, can't they just, like, smack each other, apologize, and get over it?"

"It's not that simple Mikey. Maybe it used to be, but I don't think it's going to be like that anymore."

"Why not, bro?"

"Look at how much all of us have changed in the past two years. We've all learned to live and function without each other. To Raph, it's easier this way. He doesn't have to take care of anyone else. Look at how distant he is from everyone now. When was the last time he touched you?" Donnie asked sadly.

"Dude, what does that have to do with anything? Just cuz he doesn't touch me or smack me anytime I mess with him doesn't mean anything." Mikey said defensively.

"Believe it or not, it does. Due to our human genes, physical touch was and is still a big part of our relationships. Raph has totally withdrawn into his figurative shell. I didn't see it before. I thought he was just becoming more mellow. But Leo did. He knew what was happening to Raph, because he did the same thing right before he hurt Sensei and went to Japan."

"So Raph is angry at himself, he's just pulling a Leo and not showing it?"

"Exactly. And it's driving him insane. I'm sure he is depressed and all kinds of other psychological issues are going on, but right now we need him to recover physically, and find Leo. Then we can figure out what upset him so much."

Mikey nodded and Donnie motioned to the food. "You need to eat." He said as he stood. A soft rumble alerted them to Leo's return. "I'll go talk to him. Stay with Raph."

"Ain't going nowhere, bro." He said as he grabbed a slice of the cold pizza and turned to look at their fallen brother.

Raph lay on the all-too-familiar bed that seemed like it was occupied more than it wasn't. Mikey rolled closer, the cool cement floor scrubbing across his callused feet, and the small space heater near the door radiating warmth over the dark turtle and himself. Raph's mask was on the table next to the bed, along with the now cool broth that Donnie had brought in and a glass of water. Mikey reached out, and let the red tails trail over his leg as he thumbed the worn silk.

"We need you back, Raphie. You can't leave us." He whispered.

"Mikey," a gruff whisper from the bed made Mikey start and spin around, the mask falling to the floor.

"Raph! What do you need? Are you okay?" Mikey said hurriedly.

Raph closed his eyes in pain and sighed in annoyance. "Talk quiet, first. My head hurts like hell."

"Oh, sorry." Mikey whispered. Raph looked around the room, and struggled to fully wake up. Mikey thought he looked almost frail and drained in the bed, and he bit his lip nervously.

Raph finally took notice of his brother's lack of comfort. "Wass wrong? What happened?"

Mikey looked to the ground, and kicked a dust bunny back under the bed. "Sensei told Leo that you were gonna leave and Leo got mad cuz he feels like you're betraying him and then we went out and you got hurt and we brought you back here and then Sensei and Leo were at it and Leo left. He just got back." Mikey mumbled.

Raph looked surprised. "How did you know? I didn't tell nobody 'cept Splinter."

Mikey looked up and grinned sheepishly at him.

"Mikey, how da hell didja find out?"

Mikey looked contemplative then pulled a puppy face. "I have my ways." He said mischievously.

"Yeah well," Raph started, then grimaced in pain. Mikey reached for him, but a strong hand pushed him away. Mikey waited patiently until Raph's breathing became less labored, and he slouched in exhaustion.

"Did Donnie give you any medicine I gotta take?" Raph had noticed the lack of an IV inserted in his arm, and figured things must not be as bad as he had thought. But his head felt ready to explode, and black dots danced at the corner of his vision when he moved too fast.

"Uh, I bet he put it in your broth. Ya feel up to eating?"

A soft grumble that vibrated Raph's plastron answered the question. Mikey hopped up as Raph pressed the button on the bedrail that moved the top half of the bed until he was in a comfortable sitting position. Mikey gently handed the bowl full of liquid to Raph, then resumed his perch next to the bed. After Raph took a few cautious spoonfulls, Mikey began to fidget.

"What is it, Mike?" He said gruffly, not taking his concentration or eyes from his food. His hands shook slightly, but he managed to feed himself.

"Are you really gonna leave, Raph?" Mikey said quietly.

Raph slowly finished the broth, pretending to not have heard Mikey. But the younger turtle knew better and waited for the darker turtle to answer. Raph handed to bowl to Mikey and brushed his mouth with the back of his hand. Mikey stood to take the dish to the kitchen, but Raph grabbed his arm and pulled him back into the chair.

"Mikey,"

"You can't leave, Raph. I don't care how crazy you think you are. We need you. Who is gonna help Donnie fix the battleshell? Who's gonna keep Leo from becoming a puffed up brat? Who's gonna be the hothead that Casey play vigilante with? Who's gonna kick my butt at video games? Huh, Raph? You are! You are a piece of this team. Look at how broken we all were when Leo left! He had no choice! You did! And by leaving, you'll be destroying this team, this family! Is that really what you want on your conscious every day of the rest of your life? Huh?" Mikey was nearly screaming, tears running into a silk barrier, staining his mask with shadows.

Raph looked at his feet in shame. "I can't stay here, Mike. I can't risk hurting you guys anymore." He barely whispered.

"So you're really gonna leave us? The only damn people on the face of this effing world that give a crap about you? You're just gonna walk out on us when we need you?" Mikey had a stern scowl on his lips and his eyes glared down at his stubborn older brother.

Raph took a deep breath and looked up to the sea green face. "I don't know, Mikey."

Mikey's mouth opened and closed, he shut his eyes, and his hands balled into fists. Moments later he opened his eyes and stared at Raph, an angry fire burning in the blue irises. "That's not good enough." Mikey said dangerously, and stomped out of the room, slamming the door behind him, and leaving a humiliated and confused brother behind him.


	15. You're good with kids, right?

A/N: (hiding behind a riot shield) I know I promised I would try to finish this before the New Year. I am SO SO SORRY! You know how the holidays are. Busy, busy, busy! But anyways, I'm not going to make any promises that I can't fulfill (New Year's resolution). I will have this done as soon as possible. I'm thinking only 4 or 5 more chapters. I will put this higher on my priority list, and I hope you guys stick around Love you all!

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Leo stood frozen in place outside the worn steel door that shielded his immediate younger brother from the rest of the lair. Mikey had stormed out moments earlier, grabbed his skateboard, and disappeared before Leo could even stand from the sofa where he was reading a book. Donnie hadn't moved from his TV table where he was tinkering with small parts from his present to Mikey, but when Leo started after Mikey, Donnie grabbed his wrist and nodded in the direction of the lab.

"Let him calm down. I'll find him in a little bit."

"But..." Leo had started to retort, but Donnie interrupted him.

"He's confused, Leo, and he just needs some time to think. You need to do the hard stuff. It's time."

Donnie's brown eyes delved into Leo's, and Leo shook free of his grasp. Leo sighed with resignation before padding quietly to the door where he now stood frozen. Gathering his willpower and scattered emotions, he cleared his throat and rapped on the cold metal.

He waited, but there was no answer. Cautiously, he turned the knob and pushed inside. The harsh smell of ammonia and rubbing alcohol barely masked the smell of charred something, but another smell overpowered the rest. Coffee. Donnie's lab always smelled like coffee. He mentally made a note to remind his younger brother to air out the lab once in a while before he suffocated.

He absorbed the rest of the room by sight, and focused on the marred shell facing him. Raph was turned on his side, his shoulders hunched and his legs curled in under himself, as if he were trying to fold into the smallest shape possible.

"Raph?" Leo said softly.

No answer.

"Are you okay, Raph?" Leo said softly as he sat down in a nearby chair and rolled closer to the cot. Raph made no movement to acknowledge his presence.

"M'fine. Just a headache. Fainted cuz uh blood loss, all that jazz." he mumbled into the pillow and pulled his knees closer into his chest.

"That's not what I meant and you know it." Leo said skeptically. Raph didn't reply, but Leo kept his mouth shut. He wanted to grab his brother by the shoulders and shake some sense into him, yell at him to snap out of it, but he remained still, waiting for Raph to come to him.

Finally, the darker turtle whispered, "I don't want to leave."

Leo jerked in surprise. "Then why the shell did you tell Sensei you wanted to?"

Raph turned onto his shell, but his eyes avoided Leo's. "Cuz I hafta. Can't risk gettin any one uh ya hurt anymore."

"Getting hurt comes in our job description, Raph. And what would you leaving fix? Nothing. We would have one less person to protect this family."

Raph shook his head. "Not like dat, Leo. I'm dangerous. Always have been. Look at how many times I've hurt anyone uh ya. I just broke yer swords and got ya almost killed. I almost hit Mikey with a pipe when we were teenagers." Raph's eyes met Leo's, brimmed with tears of anger and hatred, but his eyes were fearful. "Who does dat to deir own brother, Leo? Only a monster..."

Leo was quiet for a minute. "Raph, did you hit Mikey with the pipe?"

Raph's eyes went to his feet.

"Huh Raph? Did you?" Raph eventually shook his head sadly. "Did I get killed either?" Raph shook his head again. "Let me ask you something. If you had one word to describe the Shredder as, what would it be?"

"What the hell Leo?" Raph spat as he jerked up and looked at his older brother.

"Just answer me." Leo said sternly.

"Monster. But I don't see why the hell you're bringing him into this." he muttered.

"Shredder wanted me dead, right?"

Raph nodded as if it were a given.

"Did you want me dead that night, Raph? Did you really want to kill me?"

Raph looked up with a frightened look, his eyes begging his brother to ask him anything but that. Leo just returned his gaze, demanding an answer.

"Yeah, I did." he whispered, ashamed.

"Then why didn't your sai go through my face? If that's what you wanted, why didn't it?"

"I dunno."He mumbled.

"Well, I do. You're not like Shredder, Raph. You're no monster. If that had been the Shredder instead of you that night, I wouldn't be here. But I am. Know why? Because you would never, ever, hurt someone who was innocent. And you would never hurt one of us beyond the point of our forgiveness."

"But I coulda killed Mikey."

"Yeah, you could have, but what stopped you?"

"You and Donnie." he said adamantly.

"And what stopped you from killing me?"

Raph looked confused.

"You did Raph. We're you're family. Do you think anyone else would forgive you for all of your mistakes? No, no one will. Just like no one would put up with Mikey's antics, or my lectures like you guys do. We're a family Raph, and we're not perfect. But we have only made it this far in life because we have stood together. If think you can leave to help us, it's gonna do the exact opposite. We won't make it without you, and you won't make it without us. So go ahead and leave if you want, but you won't be doing us or yourself any favors."

"Leo, ya gotta understand."

"I don't understand why you think leaving will help anyone."

Raph opened and closed his mouth as if he was going to say something, but he bowed his head and was silent.

"Before you go, will you do one thing for me?" Leo slid the chair back and grabbed a blank sheet of crumpled paper and a pen, scribbled words on it, and handed it to Raph. Raph took it with a puzzled look. "This girl needs your help. I want you to visit her. Don't be seen. Just make sure she is okay, report back to me, and you can go if you decide you want to." Leo stood. "Once Donnie clears you, go to the address. You can talk to her if you need to, but like I said, don't be seen. And if she asks, tell her you're my brother."

"Why?" Raph asked, confused at his brother's intentions.

Leo paused at the door and looked back at Raph. "You're good with kids, right?" he asked, then shut the door quietly behind him.


	16. Yer gonna decapitate me, B

A/N: Slowly but surely

WARNING: Raph has a mouth in this chap.

Brenna crept to the edge of the alley, looking up and around to make sure no one was following her. Tyler had sounded urgent on the phone; She had barely caught the nervous whispers to meet him. It was nearing midnight, and a chilly wind whipped in between the tall brick buildings.

"Brenna," a soft voice hissed as she turned the corner. Brenna froze, singling out the dark shadow against the wall. She mimicked his position and pressed her back to the cold concrete, blending into the darkness.

"What?" she whispered. The scrawny boy next to her slowly came into focus, his straggly blonde hair outlining his dirty face, and the deep purple tattoo across his neck slithering around him like a noose.

"What the hell happened last night? You care to explain how you know those freaks the big guys are always talking about killin'?"

"What the hell are you talking about?" she hissed, the fresh cuts on her arm leaking down her hand. She pulled her sleeves over her knuckles to cover the blood.

"Dem turtles!" the boy grabbed her wrist in anger, eliciting a hiss of pain from her clenched teeth. "Viper was on the roof watchin, and he and his vigilante buddy were the ones that knocked everybody out, except you. Viper told the boss he thought they was gonna kidnap ya, but when he followed and saw him took ya home, Hun figures yer in line with em and your a spy for em. Please tell me ya ain't." Tyler growled.

Brenna's chest suddenly felt tight and fear gripped at her throat. She jerked free of his grasp and backed away a few steps. "What the... I don't know any freaks. I've never seen either of them before. I have no clue how he knew where I live. He must be stalking me. I'm not a freaking spy."

"Yer gonna have a hard time convincing Hun of dat. Yuh gotta get outta here. Just run. I dunno when he's gonna come after yuh, but Huns gotta shipment uh drugs comin in tonight. Yuh gotta run brenna. He ain't gonna listen to you when he thinks yer one of them. Go. Get outta here." Tyler pushed her out towards the alley mouth and her feet instantly began flying across the frozen pavement. Her apartment building came into view, but she flew past it, her short hair whipping into her face as she ran for her life. Her mind swam with scenes of her being beaten to death in the back of an alley, screaming but no one coming to rescue her.

Her lungs began to burn with exertion. Tears raked across her face, and air came in desperate gulps. Suddenly, her bare foot struck the pavement and she stumbled. She looked behind her, her abandoned shoe several yards behind her. She slowed for a moment, wincing as her heel throbbed in pain. She gingerly tested her weight on it, pushed through the pain, and lurched forward as fast as she could. Moments later, she cried out, and stumbled into an alley, landing on her knees, sobs shaking her entire body.

A flutter of rough feet and a thump that shook the ground sent her over the edge. "Please! Please! I'm not a spy!" She screamed, but a rough hand clamped over her mouth from behind. She struggled against the hard body behind her, to no avail. They shifted, and a gruff voice made her freeze.

"I ain't gonna hurt ya, so hold still and be quiet."

Brenna took several shuddery breaths.

"If I take my hand off, ya gonna be quiet?"

Brenna nodded and it was gone. She spun around, but there was no one behind her. She stumbled forward a few steps and nearly lost her balance, but a dark green hand shot out and held her steady. Her eyes flew open and she sucked in a deep breath. Her knees gave out, and she slid onto the pavement and started hyperventilating.

"Hey, hey. Stop that. You're gonna pass out." She heard the voice faintly from somewhere to her left, but she didn't bother looking for him. She knew she wouldn't see him unless he wanted her to. She nodded and started taking deeper, even breaths.

"You're, you're one of them. Those turtles." She gasped out. A deep, dark chuckle sent shivers up her spine.

"Yeah, kid. I'm one uh dem freaks."

Her slowly quieting breathing was the only sound in the alley for a few uncomfortable moments. She hadn't seen so much as a shadow move.

"So, uh, what were ya runnin from kid?"

She shook her head and took in a deep breath to calm herself. "I thought Hun sent someone to take me out." She whispered nervously.

"Hun?" the turtle exclaimed. "You're mixed up with Hun? Shit."

"I know. I got into the PDs a few months back, but when you're brother took me home the other night after he and his buddy stopped a robbery, they figured I was a spy since he didn't kill me."

"Leo took ya home? So dat's where he's been goin."

"Huh?"

"Nothing." He said softly. He shifted, and she could see his outline sitting on top of a nearby dumpster. His silhouette looked almost normal, except for a large bulge across his back.

"So you're really a mutant turtle?" she asked cautiously.

He chuckled again, lighter this time. "Yeah, I am."

"Hmm," she considered.

"So what're you getting mixed up with the PDs for, kid? Ya should know they're bad bidness."

"First of all," she said with an edge of offense, "My name is Brenna. And, I dunno, I needed somewhere to go, and I needed to get away from my parents' rules and crap."

"Didn'tcha have anywhere else? Friends, maybe? Anyone at school? How old are ya anyways?"

"I'm sixteen. People at school didn't understand." She trailed off.

"Understand what?" he asked after a moment.

A flash of anger, and she ripped up the sleeve of her shirt, revealing hideous, bloody slashes across her arm. "They didn't understand this! They didn't understand how tortured I was at home, or how my dad would tear me apart and even hit me once in a while. They didn't get how I couldn't cope, and the PDs didn't ask questions."

"Holy shell," he hissed. The silhouette slipped off of the dumpster. "Brenna."

Brennna crouched backwards and prepared for a violent outburst with his growl. Her eyes slammed shut, preparing for a blow, but after a moment she only heard a defeated sigh. Her eyes shot open when a cold, calloused hand gently wrapped around her wrist and pulled her towards him.

"Brenna," he whispered again. All of the frightening fierceness and anger seemed to have dissipated from him, and he seemed tired. His shoulders slumped and his arms rippled with muscles. His eyes drooped as he gazed across her arm. He held her arm with one hand and reached behind his back with the other, and withdrew little strips dark cloth, similar to the strips he had around his own wrists.

Brenna pulled back, but his grip was like iron as he held her in place. "Don't," she whimpered. "You don't have to do this."

He looked up and his eyes met hers, his intense amber gaze boring into her with a fierceness that gave her goose bumps.

"Tell me why." He said gruffly as he looked back down and began to wrap her arm.

Brenna was quiet, her head bowed in shame. Raph looked up again.

"Well?"

Her eyes began to water as she opened her mouth. "My dad is an alcoholic. Two and a half years ago, my mother finally decided to divorce him because he had lost his job and had been with other women. She moved away because he threatened to kill her, so I was left with him for six months. He only got worse, and his anger problems got violent. We lost our house, and got evicted from the first apartments we lived in. He forced my mom to move back in order to finish the divorce, and she had the nice apartment we live in now, and he has to stay there with me every other weekend." Her voice shook, "He tells me that I'm ugly, and that I suck at everything I do. He threatens to pull me out of school and make me work since I'm not very smart."

"Shell, Brenna. I'm so sorry." He gently tied the last knot across her wrist and patted his hand gently. Silent tears slipped down Brenna's cheeks as she stared sadly at her feet.

Raph sat and studied her for a moment, then slapped his knees and stood up. Brenna looked up slowly. Raph's hand was held out in offering to her. She slowly took it, and he pulled her up with ease. He started pulling her back into the alley, away from the street.

She resisted, but he confidently pulled her into the darkness.

"Where are we going? Are you going to kill me?" She asked nervously.

"Yeah, B, I'm gonna kill ya and wear yer eyeballs as earrings." They had reached the brick wall at the end of the alley.

"But," she thought for a moment as he pulled something out of the belt around his waist, "You don't have ears."

"Exactly. Here, strap this around yer waist. Don't wantcha to fall. That'd be awflee anticlimactic, huh?" She did as he instructed and looked up at him, awaiting his approval.

He gave her a crooked smile. "Hope ye ain't scared uh heights."

She smiled softly back at him, "Try me."

"Challenge accepted." He grabbed her arm and swung her around onto his shell, and began to climb up the wall. Her hands clung around his neck and he laughed. "Yer gonna decapitate me 'fore we get to the top, B."

"Sorry," she whispered and let go of his neck, instead clinging to the edge of his shell, rubbing the whorls with her thumb.

As they peaked the roof and he began to run across the rooftops, she couldn't hold in the small bubble of joy and exhilaration that escaped her mouth as a giggle.


	17. Time to Return the Favor

A/N: So, I am all moved into my apartment in a little college town and working my butt off like crazy to keep good grades. I know I have made promises in the past, and you've probably figured that I'm not very good at keeping them in a timely manner I'm so sorry! I do hope you stick around. I've got new inspiration for this and I hope it works out! Love you all!

Disclaimer: The only turtle I own is a small glass figurine

"So, Mikey hid for a whole week after that. None uh us could find duh twerp. An' he's lucky too. Donnie almost killed his cat cuz hee was so upset."

Brenna laughed. "He's sounds so cool!"

Raph chuckled. "He's a nutcase, but we love 'im."

Brenna smiled at him, and Raph cleared his throat. "Eat yer grub 'fore it gets cold."

Brenna huffed happily and took a bite of the foot-long piece of pizza that was sitting across her lap. She chewed a couple of times before talking around the mush in her mouth. "So, if you guys live, like, not above ground or where ever you're hideout is, how do you come out and find the best pizza place in NYC?"

Raph took a large bite of his own pizza before answering. "Well, we had to eat somehow. We were about fifteen before our Sensei let us come out of our home and see yer world. As for the best pizza place, that's Mikey's fault. I'm sure his veins are full uh cheese and pepperoni and pork rinds."

Brenna was silent for a moment as she considered his words, then she asked, "How about this view?"

Raph grunted. "I'm kinda dee expert at the solitary scenic views. My bros haven't even been up here wit me."

"Wow." Brenna breathed. "It really is beautiful." She rocked her legs back and forth, and Raph followed her gaze across the water.

They were sitting on the edge of the Freedom Tower* in Lower Manhattan, cranes, steel girders, and miscellaneous construction tools were scattered across the vast platform that currently served as the skyscrapers top floor at the moment. Donnie had been fascinated with the human's design of the new World Trade Center, and according to charts he had told his whole family about, the enormous building was barely over halfway complete. They sat on the west edge, gazing out across the Hudson River and into New Jersey. To their left, the Statue of Liberty sat on Liberty Island, lit and standing proud at the entrance into the NY harbor.

Brenna sighed, and Raph looked at her. Her dirty hair shifted with the mild breeze, and Raph saw a single tear trickle down her cheek.

"'Ey, wha's wrong B?" he asked as he shifted closer to her and set a hand on her shoulder.

She sniffed. "Where were you, when the planes hit?" she whispered.

"I was practicing with Leo, actually. We were in the dojo, it's our practice room, and Donnie comes runnin in like he'd seen a ghost. Leo knew sometin' was wrong, but Donnie was just, like, in shock. Den Mikey yells at us tuh come in duh livin' room. He and Sensei'd been watching TV, and dere it was on duh screen." Raph growled. "All dem people screaming and jumpin' from those tall stories, so dey wouldn' burn tuh death. Leo fell tuh his knees, and Mikey started crying. Donnie turned on his police scanner, and listenin to all the confusion and terror, it was duh one time in my entire life I wished I was human so I coulda done somethin'" Raph wiped angrily at his tearing eyes. "Jus' one person, Iif I coulda jus saved one person, I woulda given up my life for dat."

Brenna leaned into him, and he wrapped his arms around her. He shook his head and cleared his throat, surprised that his emotions had gotten away from him so easily. "Why do yuh ask, B?"

Brenna was quiet and took several deep breaths before she answered. "Cuz my real dad died that day." She croaked.

"Wha?" Raph said quietly. He tried to pull her up to look at him, but she wrapped her arms around his shell and began to cry.

"He was a firefighter. My mom married James three years ago because we were gonna be homeless. He seemed nice at the time, but he lost his job and got violent and abusive."

"B, has yer momma gone to the police?"

"She can't. He's threatened to kidnap me and run."

It hit him like a brick wall. Rage suddenly flew through his veins, igniting his entire being on fire. He trembled with the long forgotten power of his signature weapon that had so often in the past been a hinderance in his training. This rage was somehow different. He shook with power, and he suddenly felt like he could defeat anyone or anything that would threaten the life of an innocent person. He had felt a similar rage on that fateful day ten years ago. Now though, instead of being forced to reign in his anger due to limitations, he could and would do anything it took to protect the fragile girl he now held in his arms. Raph stood then, pulling her up with him and jerked out his shell cell.

"Raph?" She asked shakily. Raph shook his head, trying to clear the red lining the edge of his vision and the dizziness gripping his stomach at the sudden torrent of emotion that had been so long absent. He felt more alive than he had in what felt like a lifetime. He shook with energy.

"'Ello?"

"Leo, it's Raph. Get yer shell outta bed and meet me at the west drainage point. This is urgent."

Leo sounded much more awake in reply. "Should I wake Mikey and Donnie?"

"No, but we're gonna need April and Casey to be up when we get there."

"Okay, see you in a few."

Leo hung up the line, and Raph felt another wave of emotion, this time, dare he realize, love and respect for his older brother. The one who had seemingly abandoned him was the one that had stood by his side and stubbornly seen through Raph's defenses. Raph let out a deep breath, somewhat calming his newly ignited nerves. The world around him suddenly felt more vibrant and alive. He looked up and laughed, before he realized that Brenna had backed away from him and was currently looking at him like he was insane. He rushed up to her and lifted her high in the air and spun her around. A cautious smile graced her lips, and brightened when Raph laughed. He soon set her down and enveloped her in a hug.

"Thank you," he whispered into her hair.

"For what?" she asked as he released her and began to pull the harness once again from his belt.

"For saving me."

Brenna just stared at him quizzically. He strapped her in once again and prepared to descend the building.

"Now it's time to return duh favor."


End file.
